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reddo wrote: ↑

Fri Mar 14, 2025 10:59 am

Good luck with the various medical and housing issues.
Anyone want to buy a house in Toddington?

Houses with more sensible prices:
Harbour house
Hazelbank
Old Police House (with cells)

Ex-Ascot can take heart from the planned uranium mine at Yesnaby in mainland Orkney in the 1970s, the output of the mine was destined for Dounreay, just across the Pentland Firth. There was a great outcry including protest marches, the erection of huge signs all over mainland Orkney and the composit...

My friend's doctor told him that his sugar was too high so my friend came home and moved it to a lower shelf in the pantry

Old but still good! Once while drunk at a reception at the Peruvian embassy, George Brown, in his capacity as Foreign Secretary, approached a voluptuous creature in a long-flowing purple robe and said 'my darling, this is a tango. I think it’s made for us.’ To which he received the reply, ‘No, Mr Br...

There is this rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant especially in language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground and asked for reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn't q...

29 years since the UK's one and only school shooting

Auld Wullie has downsized and moved to a smaller house which is near a school. One afternoon, Wullie is chatting to a couple of his new neighbours when he hears a lot of crashing and banging and sees it's 3 young boys shouting and beating on the bins stored nearby. The neighbours tell Wullie the hav...

My friend and his wife were sitting in a Chinese restaurant last night when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said, "You all need to start clapping!" My friend & his wife thought that this was a bit weird but everyone in the restaurant began to clap - and the lights came on! My friend ...

On board MV Earl Sigurd doing in excess of 12 kts and due to arrive in Kirkwall at 12 noon. Then taxi to Balfour hospital for two appointments before another taxi to the ferry then heading for home again. Slightly choppy journey but quite tolerable.

Hydromet wrote: ↑

Sun Mar 09, 2025 12:20 am

Ah, the dreaded NZ Hippo, able to leap off tall fences in a single bound!

A known associate of the equally dreaded Thylarctos plummetus or Australian Drop Bear.

My friend tells me that during WWII one of his uncles was responsible for the destruction of no fewer than 53 enemy aircraft, mainly Fokke-Wulf 190’s. Apparently he was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

Familiar to all FAC & ACO folk - "Stop! Stop! Stop! Own twoops!"

Been a nice day on the Humber, one more nice day to go and then the wind changes and we go back to cool for a week. Woke up this morning to thick, low cloud and heavy drizzle. Then in the late afternoon the first haar/fret of the year clamped down and I couldn't see the hedge just across the road f...

The doctor at the insane asylum decides to take some of his patients to an International football game at Hampden. For weeks in advance, he coaches his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrives, everything is going quite well. As the national anthems starts, the doctor ye...

My friend is getting fed up with folk whinging about the price of things:
£1.25 for a cup of tea,
£2 for a coffee,
£2 for a slice of cake,
£2.50 for car parking.
If it gets any worse he's seriously considerning stopping inviting folk round to his house.

The ante-natal clinic was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to...

Old McDonald had Tourettes,
Ee, Aye, Ee, Aye, Cvnt!

The key questions absolutely nobody in power or the lamestream media are prepared to ask are: 1) Why would young, white men, traditionally the mainstay of NATO armed forces, fight for a government that clearly hates them? 2) Why would anyone join a regular armed force that offers worse living condi...

A duck waddles into a pub. Day 1 Duck: "Got any Grapes?" Barman: "No" Day 2 Duck: "Got any Grapes?" Barman: "No" Day 3 Duck: "Got any Grapes?" Barman: "No, and if you ask me one more time for grapes I'll nail your feet to the ceiling!" Day 4 Duck: "Got any nails?" Barman: "No" Duck: "Got any Grapes?"