Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Human: Well, all the reasons that I did have, have now been replaced by the fact that you can talk
Search found 5518 matches
- Wed Mar 27, 2024 4:51 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
- Wed Mar 27, 2024 2:34 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Some birds produce an oil that helps their feathers to retain more body heat. This fact generated the well-known saying "the oily bird gets the warm".
- Mon Mar 25, 2024 5:54 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Although George Wilkinson did very poorly at school and lacked many of the social graces, he turned out to be a gifted portrait artist and his fame grew very quickly. Soon people from all over the country were coming to him to have their portrait painted. One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up t...
- Sun Mar 24, 2024 7:33 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
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Re: Friday Jokes
The wind was rough
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!
- Fri Mar 22, 2024 8:43 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
A stingy millionaire stipulated in his will that his wife must bury him with all his money in the coffin.
After the funeral his wife's friend asked "You didn't really bury him with all his money did you?"
"Oh yes, I did!" she replied. "I wrote a cheque and stuffed it into his shroud."
After the funeral his wife's friend asked "You didn't really bury him with all his money did you?"
"Oh yes, I did!" she replied. "I wrote a cheque and stuffed it into his shroud."
- Fri Mar 22, 2024 1:04 pm
- Forum: Aviation Design, Manufacture and Maintenance
- Topic: One Big Ass Plane
- Replies: 4
- Views: 205
- Gender:
Re: One Big Ass Plane
A maybe apocryphal story told by Christopher Cockerell (inventor of the hovercraft). He was visited by 'the MOD', anxious to secure the concept for military use. Cockerell asked what they would require it to do as they already had Land Rovers and 3-tonners. He explained that hover height was relate...
- Fri Mar 22, 2024 12:43 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
- Replies: 19379
- Views: 979405
- Gender:
Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
More on the Sanday shipwreck (from this week's edition of The Orcadian)
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 10:46 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
- Replies: 19379
- Views: 979405
- Gender:
Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
Failed to check the DofQtango15 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 20, 2024 10:21 pmMy local supermarket has run out of easter eggs, Ricardian. Could you pop over to the next island and buy some for me please?
https://news.sky.com/story/sanday-shop- ... d-13098797
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 9:59 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Patient has just been given bad news about his prognosis.
Patient: "Doctor, just how long do I have to live?"
Doctor: "Five..."
Patient: "Five what? Days, weeks, months?"
Doctor: "Four, three,...
Patient: "Doctor, just how long do I have to live?"
Doctor: "Five..."
Patient: "Five what? Days, weeks, months?"
Doctor: "Four, three,...
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 9:39 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
- Replies: 19379
- Views: 979405
- Gender:
Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
.....The fire service came and checked the house out to see if we were safe enough apparantly smoke alarms et al were all working ok. Suggested we got an extra carbon monoxide detector for upstairs, so we have..... Fire regs changed in Scotland a couple of years ago. In every home you legally now h...
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 9:10 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Precocious Child: "Mummy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?" Mother: "I've got to do that or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny." PC: "I don't think that's going to work." M: "Why not?" PC: "Because Mrs Jones from next door keeps blowing him back up ever...
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 8:52 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
- Replies: 19379
- Views: 979405
- Gender:
Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
Whitehall village, the harbour & Papa Stronsay basking in the sun today (Wed 20 Mar). https://stronsaylimpet.co.uk/WhitehallMarionMiller.jpg (Photo taken from the Islander by Marion Miller) Mistakenly posted to the "Jokes" thread earlier today! And chez Ricardian as indicated by the arrow: https://...
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 8:47 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
- Replies: 19379
- Views: 979405
- Gender:
Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
Whitehall village, the harbour & Papa Stronsay basking in the sun today (Wed 20 Mar).
(Photo taken from the Islander by Marion Miller)
Mistakenly posted to the "Jokes" thread earlier today!
(Photo taken from the Islander by Marion Miller)
Mistakenly posted to the "Jokes" thread earlier today!
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 8:43 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
- Wed Mar 20, 2024 6:04 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Whitehall village, the harbour & Papa Stronsay basking in the sun today (Wed 20 Mar).
(Photo taken from the Islander by Marion Miller)
(Photo taken from the Islander by Marion Miller)
- Tue Mar 19, 2024 8:47 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Doctor: How many times do you exercise?
Me: 3 times.
Doctor: A week? A month?
Me: I have given my answer.
Me: 3 times.
Doctor: A week? A month?
Me: I have given my answer.
- Tue Mar 19, 2024 4:47 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Friday Jokes
- Replies: 10859
- Views: 470579
- Gender:
- Tue Mar 19, 2024 3:49 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
- Replies: 19379
- Views: 979405
- Gender:
Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread V
Ooh, you are posh. My schedule tomorrow: 12:50 Leave home, drive to Ilkeston Community Hospital 13:20 Ten minute walk around the perimeter to the clinic (Floor by main door lifted re floods) 13:30 Ultrasound scan 13:40 Back home to lunch. My schedule yesterday (Mon 18 Mar): 08:40 Taxi to ferry 08:5...
- Tue Mar 12, 2024 2:30 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Photos of Everybody
- Replies: 316
- Views: 49852
- Gender:
- Mon Mar 11, 2024 9:09 pm
- Forum: Crewroom
- Topic: Photos of Everybody
- Replies: 316
- Views: 49852
- Gender:
Re: Photos of Everybody
I just realised (March 2024) that I had put these two photographs all ready to upload in June 2023 (!) but completely forgot about them - probably because they're of my 80th birthday party in June 2023. One is of the very special cake, baked by a local lady who is very skilled at baking and somehow ...