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My friend says "Cheer up! It could be worse, you could be stuck in a deep hole full of water."
I know that he means well.

A recent survey suggests that the first car you owned is as memorable as your first kiss.
Mine was a mucky old escort that had to be hand cranked.
I can’t remember what make the car was.

British chap: I never knew that chickens could float or even swim!
Ffrench ffriend: Oui, c'est les swimming poules.

I do wonder about the procurement procedures of some governments - or is it a scam? I received this email from " cotaxter09@textcollege.cc " to me in my capacity as editor of the island's informal monthly newsletter. Government of South Sudan South Sudan Development Commission (Bureau on Procurement...

Boac wrote: ↑

Fri Apr 05, 2024 2:19 pm

They have an Airbus fleet, so as long as the dog can see the colours it will be OK...

Canine colour vision - red/green problem!

No mention of defective colour vision

Wodrick wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 03, 2024 8:32 am

Greetings,
17°c, 19°c predicted by the soothsayer.
The return of the Dome, not even chemtrails.
Don’t think we will need the Log Burner now until Winter.

Protect BigFoot?

Science question #96:
If kinetic energy is converted to heat energy, how many slaps would it take to cook a 3lb chicken?

A hint for some readers in North America:
Hide speakers in your evangelical neighbour's garden so that you can play a recording of trumpets sounding when the eclipse starts

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

To stay out of hot water when brewing a pun it is best to use subtle tea.

Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Human: Well, all the reasons that I did have, have now been replaced by the fact that you can talk

Some birds produce an oil that helps their feathers to retain more body heat. This fact generated the well-known saying "the oily bird gets the warm".

Although George Wilkinson did very poorly at school and lacked many of the social graces, he turned out to be a gifted portrait artist and his fame grew very quickly. Soon people from all over the country were coming to him to have their portrait painted. One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up t...

The wind was rough
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!

A stingy millionaire stipulated in his will that his wife must bury him with all his money in the coffin.
After the funeral his wife's friend asked "You didn't really bury him with all his money did you?"
"Oh yes, I did!" she replied. "I wrote a cheque and stuffed it into his shroud."

A maybe apocryphal story told by Christopher Cockerell (inventor of the hovercraft). He was visited by 'the MOD', anxious to secure the concept for military use. Cockerell asked what they would require it to do as they already had Land Rovers and 3-tonners. He explained that hover height was relate...

More on the Sanday shipwreck (from this week's edition of The Orcadian)