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Local Airman Collecting for Victims of Bowling Green Massacre

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:18 am
by Chuks
From the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin's regular feature, Local Cucamongans of Note:

Local airman Willy W. "Wilco" Willson, former First Officer for Air Cucamonga, had been holding a vigil for the forgotten victims of the Bowling Green Massacre outside the doors of the Walmart in Rancho Cucamonga, asking busy shoppers to "Spare a moment to remember the victims with spare change?"

Your reporter was intrigued by young Willy's vigil, stood there as he was shaking his tin cup with his pet rat Moonflower on his shoulder, alternating his pleas for remembrance and spare change with tunes on a harmonica held on a wire holder around his neck, and surreptitious pulls on a small bottle of a red liquid he described as "Mad Dog 20-20."

He asked your reporter "Wanna slug, Baby?" shaking the bottle suggestively, when she had to tell him that drinking on duty was a no-no, which it of course it very much is. That much she remembers from her time at the Columbia School of Journalism!

Two large men soon appeared to grab Willy and Moonflower and hustle them off the Walmart premises, seeming to put an end to what is just one more thing that makes Rancho Cucamonga and its residents "so very, very special."

Be sure to check tomorrow's issue for my interview with the former CEO of Air Cucamonga, now working security for our local Walmart, when he rips the lid off the Pandora's Box that is present standards for the hiring of tomorrow's pilots! It will be an in-depth look at why, as he put it, 'They don' know nothing!" so that "Yes, they a hazard to birds, too!"

Re: Local Airman Collecting for Victims of Bowling Green Massacre

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:56 am
by Boac
Would that be the Trumpet's 'Fake news' Bowling Green Massacre he was 'collecting' for?

Re: Local Airman Collecting for Victims of Bowling Green Massacre

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:45 pm
by Chuks
It's not "fake news" when Trump or, in this case, Kellyanne Conway promulgate it, but "yes," technically, given that this massacre is an alternate fact.

I hope that you do not have a problem with that, BOAC.

It is our patriotic duty to believe whatever Trump and Conway want us to believe, even when that may change in its finer details from day to day, and by "patriotic duty" that is a duty that must extend to Brits as well, given that we enjoy a "special relationship," as exemplified by what the Donald called "a statue" (technically a "bust") of Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill KG OM CH TD PC DL FRS RA, now restored to its place of honor in the Oval Office by His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Donald Trump, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular." (That is a title the Donald found going unused somewhere. He liked it so much that he's working on getting it officially awarded. For now he only uses it when among his inner circle.)

Re: Local Airman Collecting for Victims of Bowling Green Massacre

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:48 pm
by Boac
No, Sir. I am (considered to be) intelligent and therefore reasonably immune to 'Trumpet Involuntaries' =))

Re: Local Airman Collecting for Victims of Bowling Green Massacre

Posted: Tue May 09, 2017 1:08 pm
by Cacophonix
Willy W. "Wilco" Willson, former First Officer for Air Cucamonga


=))

Does young Wilco, the effervescent Trumpette and regional pilot come UCLA (or whatever) graduate know that he has hit the big time here on this site? ;)

As ALC might say, the ways of the Emperor Mong, let alone Air Cucamonga, are strange yet wonderful to behold.

Caco