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I admire you for not enjoying the flexibility and easiness of pressing a button to unlock the doors a system reliable enough to be in use for more than a decade.

If I could find a car that had that and none of the associated 'look what a smartarse I am' electronic gimmickry associated with it I would be very happy.
As an aside, if you can't find the hole to fit the key into, you might not be in a fit state to drive, it's a sort of DIY alcohol test!
In South Africa and elsewhere the criminals use readers to emulate the code when you leave your car and can then drive it away, so it's not that secure.

About five years ago I parked the car in Aachen and the keyless locking didn't work so I locked the car mechanically, as we walked away I saw three suspicious characters loitering, one of whom followed us around the corner at a discrete distance, I went back to the car and saw the other two very close to the car, I shouted "Oi!" and they legged it. I suspect they had some sort of jammer and wanted to steal the contents of the car, assuming most people wouldn't check the locking worked after they'd pressed the button.

It will have no bleeping peeping buzzing warning noises, no fancy systems, just basic.

Here,here. I too am in the market for another car, and I will choose one that I am in charge of, not some wondrous and unintelligible digital crap.

Bring back the Morris 8.

But would you pay extra for the optional heater? And remember not to drive uphill in the rain because the vacuum wipers would stop?

k3k3 wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 01, 2019 8:09 am

About five years ago I parked the car in Aachen and the keyless locking didn't work so I locked the car mechanically, as we walked away I saw three suspicious characters loitering, one of whom followed us around the corner at a discrete distance, I went back to the car and saw the other two very close to the car, I shouted "Oi!" and they legged it. I suspect they had some sort of jammer and wanted to steal the contents of the car, assuming most people wouldn't check the locking worked after they'd pressed the button.

Another remote controller can act as a jammer!

I know that an Audi or another Mazda controller jams my Mazda controller from locking my car. So I ALWAYS physically check that the car doors are locked, before I walk away from the car.

Never had any trouble with my Anglia.

ExSp33db1rd wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 01, 2019 8:49 am

It will have no bleeping peeping buzzing warning noises, no fancy systems, just basic.

Here,here. I too am in the market for another car, and I will choose one that I am in charge of, not some wondrous and unintelligible digital crap.

Bring back the Morris 8.

Here's the one I had.

When I first drove a car with a parking assist system I thought it was a very useful. A couple of weeks later, I drove one without it, I came to the conclusion it was a mixed: a curse and a blessing. It has saved me several times. Now I drive a car without it and I do manage with out too much trouble. However I would like to have it on the car I drive.

These things are a double edged weapon. Having driven a hired car VW Golf for a few weeks which had a bleeping reversing sensor, I got into a similar one a few days later, which didn't. The result was fortunately only a very slight injury to a tree and the rear bumper which 'buffed out'!

I had a 1986 Mercedes 190E at one point. It had a pneumatic system for setting central locking. A tennis ball enabled you to get into the car if you had lost the keys or locked them in the car. Puncture the tennis ball so you have a small hole in it. Place the hole over the keyhole in the door. Whack the tennis ball hard with your other hand a few times and the door will eventually unlock.

I NEVER, now, get out of the car without the electronic key thinggy in my hand, since experiencing magically locked doors that I didn't demand.

Apologies if repeat ? ....... semi-old fashiond car, central locking only no funny tricks, but managed to lock my keys inside. Local beach, getting dark, tide coming in .... saw a distant light and walked over, door opened by 12 (?) year old girl, closely followed by suspicious dad who thought I might be chatting her up. Explained the situation and Dad produced a wire coathangar and said, "Let's give it a try." After about 20 minutes of unsuccess, the 12 yr. old sauntered over to see what was happening, and .... just leaned against the door and the locking button popped up ! Seems I hadn't shut the door firmly and it was only on the first catch -- as was then, and neither Dad or I had noticed.

When in doubt, grab the nearest 12 year old.

barkingmad wrote: ↑

Mon Sep 30, 2019 6:05 pm

Good old-fashioned hi-vis steering wheel locks are still available in car accessory shops.

So what’s the problem.......?

You need a key to unlock it?

ian16th wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 01, 2019 11:02 am

ExSp33db1rd wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 01, 2019 8:49 am

It will have no bleeping peeping buzzing warning noises, no fancy systems, just basic.

Here,here. I too am in the market for another car, and I will choose one that I am in charge of, not some wondrous and unintelligible digital crap.

Bring back the Morris 8.

Here's the one I had.

Morris Minor.jpg

Skip on wheels. Why I never felt confident enough to walk away with the hood down.

Manic dog managed to lock my SAAB with the keys inside. In those days the lock button was proud when locked. This nice lady in a furniture shop got some nylon packing strap, slipped it in the door, snared the button, job done - 20 seconds.

With a Mazda works car, went out one morning, iced up, so started car, waited for it to heat up. Smart car locked itself. How long will a Mazda run at idle on a full tank? The contractor had to bring a spare key from 25 miles away.

Mind you, how long with a Vulcan run for with 4 engines on starting RPM? External start and key broken in the lock Don't know how they got in.

P N. Wot’s yer problem?

Attached to the magic key fob radiating to everyone within range hopefully you’d have attached the mechanical key to unlock the clunky non-progammable bright yellow metal security lock purchased for a fraction of the cost of the giveaway key fob

The sight of it’s conspicuous leg sticking up in the unattended parked car in the street or driveway or multi-storey carpark will be enough to deter the high-tech wifi villains.

I don’t understand your query, unless you believe that in the 21st century we can abolish mechanical locks and use retinal imaging or fingerprints to secure and free our precious assetts, homes included?

PN isn't maybe a mode somewhere dictating the auto-lock function? I know a FIAT Stilo auto-lock was a feature on the car's MFD.

The hi-vis steering wheel locks is fairly troublesome to install it.

Cape, the parking radar, bleeping sound when reversing is a curse and a blessing. When you switch to a car without one outcomes like yours are practically a given.

ribrash wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:53 am

Never had any trouble with my Anglia.

You could probably have left the keys in it and no one would steal it

Once locked my keys in my car, fortunately it was a Liverpool away game

Woody wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:06 am

ribrash wrote: ↑

Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:53 am

Never had any trouble with my Anglia.

You could probably have left the keys in it and no one would steal it

Once locked my keys in my car, fortunately it was a Liverpool away game

I once locked the keys in a hired Ford Escort, C1970.
With binoculars through the rear window, I noted the number stamped on the ignition switch, got my neighbour to drive me to a filling station, where I bought another key.
End of problem.

The Mazda was 1990s vintage, only a metal key and as for instructions, who reads the manual for a hire car? I had not driven it for a week even.

There was a period in late 1991 where I was locking the keys on the car about once per month. I did investigate the occurrences and I decided to change my SOP. I decided to lock the door using the key rather than lifting the outside handle and pressing the locking button which I did every time I locked the keys in the car. Worst case was when I locked them while the car was at the garage at Zaventem airport.