New App Desperately Needed

[OFSO]

I need an App which will work on my phone, tablet, TV, newspaper: everything. And will spring into action at the words "Royal Wedding" and disconnect my eyes and ears, in fact all my senses, until a new subject is discussed. Any ideas ? Or should I just get drunk and stay drunk until the happy pair have disappeared off on their honeymoon ?

Do not laugh. While writing the above, the weather forecast for the 'Royal Wedding' was on ITV. Now they said "it's the week of the Royal Wedding'. Is there no end to this madness ? Aaargh.

[Sisemen]

Is this post anything to do with the Royal Wedding? I think we should be told.

[Capetonian]

You cannot imagine the enormity of the f*ck that I couldn't give about the wedding.