Do rotor heads have a better sense of humour than plank drivers?

[OneHungLow]

Excuse for amusing anecdotes from anybody, whatever their flying provenance, if there is anybody out there.

Are helicopter pilots simply mad, more eccentric, or do they simply have a better sense of humour than fixed wing types?

Case in point, filched from Peter Saxton's book (vide. what books am I reading thread)...

"The helicopters were deployed from Aberdeen to Shetland, and the crews spent a few days per month manning them. The pilots and engineers hadn't much to amuse themselves with up there, and one day they found a kilt washed on the beach. They had it washed and dried, ready for use. There was a daily BA Viscount fixed wing service, and passengers walked from a portacabin check-in to the aircraft steps before being ushered into the aircraft. One of our pilots rolled his trouser legs up and put on the kilt. The kilt was slightly long for him. He wore his flying boots and his BA Captain's jacket, complete with four gold rings on each arm. As the passengers began to walk across the tarmac, he marched swiftly to the front of them and lead them to the aircraft steps, saluting smartly as they climbed into the aircraft. He hard the pilot's window slide open and a very cultured English voice said in his direction, "I don't know who you are, or what you think you are doing, but f*ck off!" No couth, or sense of humour, some people.! - Captain Tom Porteous.

[OneHungLow]

A bit basic..JPG (46.07 KiB) Viewed 6026 times

No sense of decorum...

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

On Basic Jet training, we received the Streaming Brief, where we were told about being streamed Group 1 for Fast Jet or Group 2 for Multi-Engine.
I asked how Group 3 for Helicopters was streamed

"We don't stream for helicopters, there are just enough people mad enough to volunteer to fill the slots."

None of my course were sufficiently nuts.

[G~Man]

All I know is, during school career day there was a table with the following letters on it:

P N E I S

Those who re-arranged them to "SPINE" are doctors now raking in the money.....

And yet here I am.........

[G~Man]

And yes, we are severely mis-understood, I recaall the following conversation I had with HR over my expenses one month......my boss, (a helicopter pilot" gave me a high five while HR tried to fire me.....

G~Man: "You want answers?"

HR: "I think I’m entitled."

G~Man: "You want answers?!"

HR: "I want the truth!"

G~Man: "You can't handle the truth!!!"

"We live in a world that requires revenue. That revenue is generated by me flying helicopters and must be flown by people with elite skills. Who's going to do it? You, Mr. President? You Mr. Finance? You, Ms. Human Resources? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at the Line Pilots and you curse our mediocre incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE!

You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at the coffee pot and staff meetings, you want me in that helicopter. You NEED me in that helicopter!! We use words like hovering, external loads, cyclic, collective, and spinning rotor blades. We use them as the backbone to flying helicopters. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of service I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a flight helmet. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

HR: "Did you expense the lap dancers?"

G~Man: "I did the job I was hired to do."

HR: "Did you expense the lap dancers?!"

G~Man: "You're goddamn right I did!”

[OneHungLow]

All I know is, during school career day there was a table with the following letters on it:

P N E I S

Those who re-arranged them to "SPINE" are doctors now raking in the money.....

And yet here I am.........

[OneHungLow]

And yes, we are severely mis-understood, I recaall the following conversation I had with HR over my expenses one month......my boss, (a helicopter pilot" gave me a high five while HR tried to fire me.....

G~Man: "You want answers?"

HR: "I think I’m entitled."

HR: "Did you expense the lap dancers?"

G~Man: "I did the job I was hired to do."

HR: "Did you expense the lap dancers?!"

G~Man: "You're goddamn right I did!”

Remind me to tell the tale (elsewhere) about the $20,000 lap dancing bill I received as an expense from a team member while he was working in New York, for me, as a PM on a big project we had undertaken for an American bank, which I somehow managed to swing, with at least one my my balls, and my career, still just hanging, the latter by a thread. The story involves drunkenness, lust, nudity, a desire to close the loop, the Mafia and ultimately the FBI. Sadly no helicopter in sight.