The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15961 Post by ExSp33db1rd » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:18 am

I am of the opinion that the chandelier story was true, but I never, to my knowledge, actually met any of the crew involved.

Also on my first trip, with a senior BALPA Captain who had been on some sort of exchange to Moscow with his Aeroflot counterparts, and therefore "Knew" someoene, we were entertained to dinner by an Aeroflot official, and a Politburo official, and an interpreter who reminded me of Andy Capp, of Daily Express cartoon fame of the era, muffler and flat hat not removed during the meal, for instance. The food was far better than we ever experienced again as humble crew members, and following that they poured us - the Georgian Brandy was noteworthy ! - into the Bolshoi Theatre, but apologised that they couldn't, at such short notice, get us seated together. I did however find myself sat next to the Flt. Eng. and on my other side a very pretty young woman, of vaguely Persian appearance, I thought. In the first interval I commented to the F/Eng. that I was enjoying the whole scene, the music and the overall ambience, but what the Hell was the opera all about ? At that the young woman said " I will tell you what the Hell it is all about" , and proceeded to give us a synopsis of the whole performance.

I subsequently congratulated her on her command of almost flawless English, and she told me that she had spent time in London. I commented that that seemed unusual, but she merely said "Not for me".

Next day our Manager suggested that there was no way that our hosts couldn't have secured 4 seats together, considering their government positions, and that we were deliberately seeded next to KGB agents. What for, I said, I wouldn't know anything of value to them that they wouldn't already know about anyway ? You don't know, said the Manager, you might have casually mentioned to the F/Eng. that you had recently caught a blue bus in London, and they would then have signalled to their London conatct a question about why London Transport was painting their buses blue instead of red, and you can bet your bottom dollar, he continued, that your girl-friend would have had a tape recorder, and every word you exchanged with the F/Eng. is now being analysed, do you really think that you "accidentally" sat next to a member of the public who could speak perfect English, in Moscow ?

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15962 Post by 4mastacker » Wed Mar 25, 2020 9:39 am

That reminds me of the time my boss said he was wanting to bring one of his girl friends to an OM function but had to seek the permission of the station commander as she was a foreign national. "Where's she from?" I asked. "She's Russian" he replied. "Really? And you think she's going to be allowed onto the UK's premier strike station?" I asked.

I don't think permission was granted and the regular phone calls from the lovely "Ludmilla", dried up fairly soon afterwards. He was posted not long afterwards but I bumped into him during a visit to another station. For some reason he went all crinkly at the jocular mention of "Ludmilla" - perhaps his wife had found out.
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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15963 Post by barkingmad » Wed Mar 25, 2020 9:51 am

Just in case you thought you’d dropped a gold tooth filling into the khazi, here’s the fascinating story about all those political party election manifestos which littered Europe in recent years and about to litter the USA-maybe;

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-5 ... the-planet

It’s a story which should speed Greta’s recovery from the beervirus and expedite her return to our fatigued consciousness!

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15964 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:10 am

Can I add my similar CW story? A VC10ski visited Brize. My friend, a Captain, was one of the escorts. He was invited into the cockpit and saw the Nav had this box, something like a large bulky pencil box. He thought it was a computer; it was a simple calculator.

As Friday afternoon drew to a close his visitor seemed to become a bit nervous. He invited his visitor to the Mess for happy hour. 'What is Happy Hour?' 'Is this for us?'.

When it was explained that it was every Friday, he said they always stood too as it was believed we would attack on Friday evening!

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15965 Post by Wodrick » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:55 am

G'day,
In Cloud, steady rain since 03.30 2.6cm so far.
If it ever stops there are two screaming tasks;

1. drain a few cm off the pond which is close to overflow
2. take a walk down the hillside to retrieve Henry's ball which has terminated about as far from the house as possible on the semi-cleared land.

Trying to stay in today, butter will become crucial mañana.

Schweppes dry ginger also A.O.G. The packaging of the small tins changed a while ago changing colour and loosing "American" in the title.
We have just discovered that the recipe has changed and it has been giving SM a Gluten reaction for some time.
A whisky and dry being part of her evening ritual.
The 1L bottles of the stuff are ok being a different recipe. 1L bottles under the current restrictions are as rare as rocking horse manure.

DHL predicting Passport delivery on Friday.
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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15966 Post by 4mastacker » Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:55 am

Heard a similar story from my boss following a post-CFE inspection beer call at Marham.

Being stuck in the house doesn't stop me enjoying a beautiful day at the seaside.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15967 Post by tango15 » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:18 am

In the old days of the Soviet Union, the British Embassy had something called 'The Red (appropriately) Book' . If you had been errr, compromised by a female, you could ask to see the book and possibly identify the culprit. One evening, I think it was the Queen's Birthday Party bash, the book was brought out for examination and comments. The photos had been taken at various places around Moscow - parks, bars, restaurants and many just in the street. The one theme which ran through the photos was that there were some stunners amongst them. Each photo was numbered and there apparently was a separate file for each person, which we were never allowed to see of course. I certainly recognised a few from my days of staying in the National Hotel, where the media correspondents and visiting diplomats were quartered.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15968 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Mar 25, 2020 11:27 am

Another story from the CFE Team. One of the first Russian visits, I think their head was the General that had not called his regiment out to arrest Gorbachev. Anway, they were doing the hosted visit to various interesting places, Salisbury Plain, Marks and Spencer etc when near lunch time, and flying near an attractive looking pub tey dropped in for lunch.

Over lunch the British Colonel and the Russian General were talking about this and that including wild British animals. Ever tried describing a badger to someone?

The publican, overhearing this said, as a matter of fact I have a stuffed Badger which he then went and got. The General would not believe this was not a put up job. Anyway the resultant photograph was of the General, playing the piano, with a stuffed Badger balanced on his knees.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15969 Post by OFSO » Wed Mar 25, 2020 1:09 pm

A lovely walk by the Regents Canal this morning, beside but not on the narrow towpath as too many joggers and walkers. Amazing cold but sunny day, sky cloudless. After an hour suddenly legs went weak so found a take-out cafe for nourishment, sat and watched a narrowboat lock upstream, then caught a bus to the Angel to collect wife's medication. I suspect I am still not completely over the February virus.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15970 Post by Wodrick » Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:00 pm

happies *Probes*
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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15971 Post by Rwy in Sight » Wed Mar 25, 2020 5:50 pm

Probes all the best for the day. Stay healthy above all!

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15972 Post by Groundgripper » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:15 pm

Belated happy birthday Probes, we can all add your name in as we wash our hands today.

Beautiful day here today, temperature hit 18C this afternoon. Morning job was to bake a batch of bread then after lunch we launched the annual attack on the garden. Took it fairly lightly, only half filling the bin, but it looks a good bit tider now. I discovered that someone had dumped a surplus-to-requirements bucket of cement on the border on my bit of land next to the road in between two very spiky berberis bushes. I have an idea who it was, one of the neighbours had men into re-edge his lawn with bricks last week and build a rockery and, as they came to within 15 feet of the border, I presume they couldn't be bothered to take the surplus away. The neighbour would be mortified if I told him so I shall just dispose of it gradually - anyway I can't prove who it was.

With everyone staying at home it's very quiet round here, few cars up and down the road through the estate and I haven't even heard any ambulances going along the main road about 100 yards away, normally there are at least six each day clearing the traffic with sirens. The only air traffic was one 737 out of Warton, destination Akrotiri according to FR24.

GG

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15973 Post by ribrash » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:21 pm

Have a good day Probes.

Re the chandelier story,I wonder if this brought about the Fools and Horses episode ?
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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15974 Post by tango15 » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:39 pm

ribrash wrote:
Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:21 pm
Have a good day Probes.

Re the chandelier story,I wonder if this brought about the Fools and Horses episode ?
During my diligent investigations into this, I was told by two different sources that it was indeed the inspiration for the Fools and Horses episode, but I have no firm confirmation of this.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15975 Post by llondel » Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:36 am

Evening all, scattered clouds out there at the moment. Took Faraday (middle dog) for a walk today, she needs to keep up her fitness in the event that she's got to push puppies out in a few weeks. We managed to cover a mile in about 20 minutes, which I think is good going considering the amount of time spent waiting while she sniffed and peed. Almost got rained on, I think it passed by the side of us because I only felt a few drops. Then it tipped down with rain about ten minutes after we got home but has now cleared.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15976 Post by Ex-Ascot » Thu Mar 26, 2020 4:36 am

Morning folks Thursday town day. Do not know if we will get a beer anywhere though.
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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15977 Post by handsfree » Thu Mar 26, 2020 4:50 am

Absolutely certain of not getting a beer here Mr Ex-A.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15978 Post by Alisoncc » Thu Mar 26, 2020 5:16 am

llondel wrote:
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:36 am
We managed to cover a mile in about 20 minutes, which I think is good going considering the amount of time spent waiting while she sniffed and peed.
Do they retain some kind of catalogue of all the smells they smell? Is there a doggy database only accessible via doggy internet, where they score brownie points for spotting a new smell.

There is a particular road sign mounted on a wooden post on the kerb which Myf loves. The post is situated at the entrance to our drive. So our walks comprise 20 mins from home to "the post" before we move on. A distance of some 200yds, max. Then 20 mins along the street and back. Then replicating our outward journey with 20 mins re-examining "the post" before the short walk down the drive.

Must be something special as she gets quite excited at the prospect of visiting "her post" each day. Checked with the local council to see if I can buy it should they decide to replace it. I am sure Myf would be overjoyed to have it erected in her garden. I would never get her away from it. :O3
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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15979 Post by llondel » Thu Mar 26, 2020 5:19 am

Humans have Facebook and email, dogs have Arsebook and peemail.

The post would lose its attraction if it was moved where others couldn't leave messages.

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Re: The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

#15980 Post by Pinky the pilot » Thu Mar 26, 2020 7:09 am

the resultant photograph was of the General, playing the piano, with a stuffed Badger balanced on his knees.
Pontius Navigator; Now that is a photo I'd really like to see!! :-bd

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