Friday Jokes

[Ex-Ascot]

Well it still had to be explained to me. Saw the extra legs but didn't know the song or who had sung it. Next.

[G-CPTN]

Went to a Halloween party in Denmark (mainly American participants) in 1980s where one of the guests was 'Jake the Peg'.

[llondel]

[Boac]

It's quite a tight one, I think. Best taken carefully.

[Pontius Navigator]

Sorry FD2 but Bots doesn't get that. Guess that it is something sick?

Lucky you.

[ricardian]

Suella Braverman returns from speed awareness course

[ricardian]

I sent that to my old boss in the RAF and he replied:

It's horrid inside when that happens. I had a VC10 sim "die" on me slowly (I was Instructor) and the "crash" coincided with a very difficult final approach and therefore the crew carried on, oblivious, as part of the exercise, really fighting with the controls . It becomes so real to fly a sim, especially under pressure. When all the admin and books started to fall on the "flying" crew I tried to tell them to stop - to no avail! I started to laugh (and the engineer instr) which made things real for them just as its front hit the floor. It was very awkward climbing up the inside and open the door. When I managed it I could see a lake of hydraulic fluid all over and we were marooned for a while before we were all able to clamber down safely. What a mess in and outside. Never to be forgotten. Thanks for reviving that memory.

[ricardian]

Captain Kirk: I just invented a thought-controlled air freshener.
Mr Spock: That sounds illogical.
Captain Kirk: It makes scents when you think about it.

[G-CPTN]

A maintenance electrician from Cranfield Airport told me of a sudden total failure of everything on their simulator.
The 'crew' suffered shock (due to their perceived loss of the aircraft and passengers).

[FD2]

There was a story years ago of a crew who had just sweated through a hard series of in flight failures and emergencies during LOFT training being offered a short relaxing break and coffee. Shortly afterwards the opaque 'cockpit' window slid open and the plastic cup was handed in. The very involved trainee thought he was cruising at several thousand feet - as the simulator was - and promptly fainted.

Then there was the John Wayne action movie The High and the Mighty - I think the one where he slaps his co-pilot Robert Stack around to ginger him up - and during filming someone walks across the top of the set. 'Someone's walked across my sky!'

[Ex-Ascot]

Yes, I have known of sims to 'crash' but never seen one.

[tango15]

twerk.jpg (32.61 KiB) Viewed 333 times

[Woody]

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Tottenham Hotspur Board of Directors' Manager Shortlist
(based on inability of job to damage reputation)

1. Rolf Harris died last week
2. putin busy in Ukraine
3. Satan under contract to putin in Ukraine
4. Tony Blair
5. Michael Barrymore
6. The Poop Emoji preferred candidate.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

[ricardian]

My academic friend has combined a laxative and alphabet soup, he has called it "Letter Rip"

[ricardian]

Peter: Where are you John?
John: I'm just pulling out of Paddington.
Peter: I bet that made him drop his marmalade sandwich!

[Woody]

[Hydromet]

[Ex-Ascot]

Best of Faulty Towers bad service clips.