Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Husband: This newspaper's half the size that it used to be!
Wife: Yes, dear. They used to publish both sides of a story.
Wife: Yes, dear. They used to publish both sides of a story.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
So there are aircraft that continue to fly on empty fuel tanks? Do tell...
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
An airline has revealed that British holidaymakers drank all the booze on a 4-hour flight to Turkey in just 25 minutes - a much needed post-Brexit boost to national pride.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Ah! These SAGA holidays...............
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10380
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10380
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13669
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Could be worse...
If they landed in....
LA, no one would notice
NY, no one would care
DC, they'd immediately be denigrated as a Trumpist Conspiracy Theory
Kherson, they'd be targetted by Russian artillery
Tehran, they'd be beaten to death for not wearing a hijab
Mumbai, they'd be run over by 17 different vehicles in their first (and last) 10 seconds
Shanghai, they'd be put to work 16 hours a day building iPhones.
If they landed in....
LA, no one would notice
NY, no one would care
DC, they'd immediately be denigrated as a Trumpist Conspiracy Theory
Kherson, they'd be targetted by Russian artillery
Tehran, they'd be beaten to death for not wearing a hijab
Mumbai, they'd be run over by 17 different vehicles in their first (and last) 10 seconds
Shanghai, they'd be put to work 16 hours a day building iPhones.
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10380
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 60
Re: Friday Jokes
My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.
She hung up.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.
She hung up.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common?
A: Same middle name.
A: Same middle name.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Husband: Can we please change the subject?
Wife: Certainly. More chores need to be done by you around the house.
Husband: Can we please change the subject?
Wife: Certainly. More chores need to be done by you around the house.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
My town had a very bad storm last week and my neighbour lost his roof, and the poor guy has no insurance, I am starting a go fund me page to raise some
dollars so I can go to Hawaii for a few weeks as he is about to start construction and I hate being around all that noise.
dollars so I can go to Hawaii for a few weeks as he is about to start construction and I hate being around all that noise.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13669
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Now Out!!
'Nuclear Weapons Design and Manufacture for Dummies'*
Coming Soon
'Cryptocoin Derivative Trading for Dummies'
'Brain Surgery for Dummies'
'Hegelian Philosophy for Dummies'
*Initial print run already sold out in Iran. 2nd edition in print at our press in Tel Aviv.
'Nuclear Weapons Design and Manufacture for Dummies'*
Coming Soon
'Cryptocoin Derivative Trading for Dummies'
'Brain Surgery for Dummies'
'Hegelian Philosophy for Dummies'
*Initial print run already sold out in Iran. 2nd edition in print at our press in Tel Aviv.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 4998
- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 5:47 am
- Location: The South Island, New Zealand
Re: Friday Jokes
Meme:
One disorienting thing about getting
older that nobody tells you about is
how weird it feels to get a really
passionate, extremely wrong lecture
from a much younger person about
verifiable historical events you can
personally remember pretty well
One disorienting thing about getting
older that nobody tells you about is
how weird it feels to get a really
passionate, extremely wrong lecture
from a much younger person about
verifiable historical events you can
personally remember pretty well
Around the world thoughts shall fly, In the twinkling of an eye
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- Station Padre
- Posts: 1444
- Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:40 pm
- Location: A country mouse in Derbyshire
- Gender:
- Age: 85
Re: Friday Jokes
Yup. I'm still embarrassed to recall #2 son loudly proclaiming that German extermination camps didn't happen. Unfortunately for him, he said it to me dad.
Dad very quietly took him outside and told him that he had been on Montgomery's staff, and present when Monty inspected Belsen...
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 2534
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:20 am
- Location: Back home, looking for a bad bottle of Red
- Gender:
- Age: 69
Re: Friday Jokes
I suspect that things would have gone very quiet thereafter.Dad very quietly took him outside and told him that he had been on Montgomery's staff, and present when Monty inspected Belsen...
You only live twice. Once when you're born. Once when you've looked death in the face.
- CharlieOneSix
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5068
- Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:58 pm
- Location: NE Scotland
- Gender:
- Age: 79
Re: Friday Jokes
The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
Re: Friday Jokes
I don't suppose that the prosecution could just play this at each of his trials.
PP
- unifoxos
- Capt
- Posts: 971
- Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:36 am
- Location: Twycross Zoo, or thereabouts
- Gender:
- Age: 78
Re: Friday Jokes
..so that listening to the musical accompaniment would addle the brains of the defence team?
Sent from my tatty old Windoze PC.