Friday Jokes
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Oh, Gosh! - well, the keyboard and coffee....
(and WHY does the protrait have to be that scaret, I wonder?)
(and WHY does the protrait have to be that scaret, I wonder?)
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Albert Einstein was a genius but his brother, Frank, created a monster
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13669
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Almost half of all noise complaints in Australia last year were filed by the same person, who complained 20,716 times
He lives under the flightpath for Perth Airport.
He lives under the flightpath for Perth Airport.
Re: Friday Jokes
That's an average of over 56 complaints a day. He must have a decibel meter attached to a computer to auto-generate a complaint if it trips whatever threshold he set.Fox3WheresMyBanana wrote: ↑Sun May 19, 2024 4:49 pmAlmost half of all noise complaints in Australia last year were filed by the same person, who complained 20,716 times
He lives under the flightpath for Perth Airport.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 4998
- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 5:47 am
- Location: The South Island, New Zealand
Re: Friday Jokes
Meme:
" I was born to be wild but
only until 9pm or so. "
" I was born to be wild but
only until 9pm or so. "
Around the world thoughts shall fly, In the twinkling of an eye
- unifoxos
- Capt
- Posts: 971
- Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:36 am
- Location: Twycross Zoo, or thereabouts
- Gender:
- Age: 78
Re: Friday Jokes
Re 11004 - similarly at LHR, but without a meter - "It is thought campaigners are using automated software to generate complaints against the airport. The scheme was caught out when two anti-Heathrow enthusiasts forgot to take into account the hour going back in October, and began complaining about flights that had not yet taken off or arrived."
Sent from my tatty old Windoze PC.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
I've been watching my weight. It's still there.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
A policeman was patrolling a rural area. At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, on Lovers' Lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this unusual situation, the constable walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"
The constable asks: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the constable says: "And what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the constable is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night on Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!
The constable asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says: "I'm 21, sir."
The constable asks: "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes!"
Puzzled by this unusual situation, the constable walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"
The constable asks: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the constable says: "And what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the constable is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night on Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!
The constable asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says: "I'm 21, sir."
The constable asks: "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes!"
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
My friend's nickname is "The Computer". It has nothing to do with his intelligence, he goes to sleep if left unattended for 10 minutes.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Those of a certain age will recognise the source for this item
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13669
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Open your flies fishing...by JR Hartley
- CharlieOneSix
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5068
- Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:58 pm
- Location: NE Scotland
- Gender:
- Age: 79
Re: Friday Jokes
'John Swinney' fake acceptance speech as First Minister of Scotland. Hilarious!
The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
My friend's 3 year old daughter was terrified of thunder until my friend told her that it was just the sky farting. Now whenever her daughter hears thunder she just giggles
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Bus driver interview:
"Sorry I'm late."
"You're hired."
"Sorry I'm late."
"You're hired."
Re: Friday Jokes
I believe that being 'early' is the sackable offence.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6068
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 81
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 18916
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
- Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
My brother+in-law was rushed to hospital last year with nasty head wounds after one of those fell on him while he and his team of builders were lifting it over a wall. Lots of blood (head wound).