Friday Jokes

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G-CPTN
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11021 Post by G-CPTN » Wed May 22, 2024 1:54 pm

What a crap thing to happen!

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CharlieOneSix
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11022 Post by CharlieOneSix » Wed May 22, 2024 2:05 pm

It's an old video but still.....

The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11023 Post by ricardian » Wed May 22, 2024 7:40 pm

Preparing for arrival of the General Election bumph

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11024 Post by jimtherev » Wed May 22, 2024 10:11 pm

ricardian wrote:
Wed May 22, 2024 7:40 pm
Preparing for arrival of the General Election bumph

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image didn't display for some reason?

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FD2
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11025 Post by FD2 » Wed May 22, 2024 10:41 pm

Merlin triumph! Hope no one was inside at the time!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11026 Post by ricardian » Thu May 23, 2024 5:52 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11027 Post by admin2 » Thu May 23, 2024 8:02 pm

It was something to do with the way your server is set up, Ricardian. When I checked the URL in your post yesterday (when it did not display) the link took me only to the main page of the site. Now it is obviously sorted.

PS I'm not sure that bin is big enough..............?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11028 Post by ricardian » Thu May 23, 2024 10:10 pm

I handed over my photographic "proof of identity" at the Post Office and the counter clerk said "You've aged since this was taken!"
To which I replied "Yes, I had it taken before I joined this bloody queue!"
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11029 Post by jimtherev » Thu May 23, 2024 10:32 pm

Thanks, but after Mod's adjustment it worked.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11030 Post by ricardian » Fri May 24, 2024 4:34 pm

Q: What is your favourite letter?
A: The letter "G".
Q: And why is that Angus?
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11031 Post by ricardian » Fri May 24, 2024 5:29 pm

Apologies if this has appeared on here before now:
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11032 Post by PHXPhlyer » Fri May 24, 2024 5:56 pm

Significance? :-? :-??

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11033 Post by Wodrick » Fri May 24, 2024 6:23 pm

BOOBS

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11034 Post by PHXPhlyer » Fri May 24, 2024 6:49 pm

Thanks Woders.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11035 Post by John Hill » Fri May 24, 2024 9:43 pm

Weak as......
Been in data comm since we formed the bits individually with a Morse key.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11036 Post by ricardian » Sat May 25, 2024 3:00 pm

My friend has one intelligent child who is designing a parachute and, putting this as politely as I possibly can, she has another child who is willing to try the parachute.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11037 Post by ricardian » Sat May 25, 2024 7:43 pm

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was...God, I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get really screwed!"
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Re: Friday Jokes

#11038 Post by Woody » Sun May 26, 2024 9:58 pm

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11039 Post by Hydromet » Sun May 26, 2024 10:30 pm

444781845_122148612044190358_1607663317053001921_n.jpg
444781845_122148612044190358_1607663317053001921_n.jpg (27.96 KiB) Viewed 700 times

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Re: Friday Jokes

#11040 Post by ricardian » Sun May 26, 2024 11:18 pm

Q: My children won't eat vegetables, what can I replace them with?
A: Rabbits! Rabbits love vegetables.
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