The really boring and totally pointless snippets thread IV

[TheGreenGoblin]

You guys in the UK seem to be having some bad weather. Also just seen:

A yellow snow warning is in place across the eastern half of the UK from first thing today until midnight

Aren't these people in danger of freezing their bits off. Please use the inside facilities.

[4mastacker]

Been out for an invigorating walk along by the river. It's like a torrent where it runs through town and seems to be higher than a couple of days ago. Not many folks about today - place was almost like a ghost town.

[Ex-Ascot]

Hmm Ex,...many of us in these parts believe the only good snake is a dead snake...it's a reflection of our upbringing too...and I think that 21 of the top 25 deadliest snakes in the world can be found here...

And, how many people were killed in Australia by snakes in say 2020? And, how many people died of rat or other rodent carrying diseases which snakes help to eradicate? Some harmless ones prey on poisonous ones. Your statement is typical of NRs here. No understanding of the place of snakes ecologically. Don't stick your paws in gaps in rocks or wood piles. Keep eyes out when walking in the bush. They will go away from you.

[TheGreenGoblin]

Hmm Ex,...many of us in these parts believe the only good snake is a dead snake...it's a reflection of our upbringing too...and I think that 21 of the top 25 deadliest snakes in the world can be found here...

And, how many people were killed in Australia by snakes in say 2020? And, how many people died of rat or other rodent carrying diseases which snakes help to eradicate? Some harmless ones prey on poisonous ones. Your statement is typical of NRs here. No understanding of the place of snakes ecologically. Don't stick your paws in gaps in rocks or wood piles. Keep eyes out when walking in the bush. They will go away from you.

I agree with your position on this Ex-Ascot. Snakes are an important part of the food chain, keeping pests under control and so on. There is seldom any reason to kill them. Most snakes, but not all, are timid and would rather avoid conflict with humans. In Southern Africa, even the highly venomous mamba would rather flee than attack when it comes to humans.

[4mastacker]

Volunteers required to sit on Court Martial board

[Pontius Navigator]

I was once 'snake' on the jungle survival course. We had an order of march, Machete led the way followed by Compass, Pace followed Compass and Stick marked off distance gone. Snake brought up the rear.

Machete stopped and called Snake. I made my way slowly to the front, standing on roots exposed in the swamp. I arrived just in time to see the snake disappear.

The Royal Marine team captured a tortoise.

[ricardian]

You guys in the UK seem to be having some bad weather. Also just seen:

A yellow snow warning is in place across the eastern half of the UK from first thing today until midnight

Aren't these people in danger of freezing their bits off. Please use the inside facilities.

Two idiots from Leicester & Liverpool went camping in the Lake District, one with pre-existing medical conditions had chest pains and a mountain rescue team was sent out to find them. Alas, one of the MRT members fell 150m and suffered life-changing injuries. The two idiots got fined £200 each.
BBC report

[TheGreenGoblin]

A man in his 50s, who police believe had been kite-surfing, has died after being found on a Suffolk beach in freezing weather.

Emergency services were called to Walberswick, near Southwold, at 3.20pm on Sunday following concerns for the safety of a man in the sea just off the beach.

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/walberswic ... th-7310726

[Pontius Navigator]

Volunteers required to sit on Court Martial board

If you Google and check the Arse thread there are the usual crackers :

I guess her nickname will be Faslane from now on - she's miserable and full of semen.

[tango15]

You guys in the UK seem to be having some bad weather. Also just seen:

A yellow snow warning is in place across the eastern half of the UK from first thing today until midnight

Aren't these people in danger of freezing their bits off. Please use the inside facilities.

Two idiots from Leicester & Liverpool went camping in the Lake District, one with pre-existing medical conditions had chest pains and a mountain rescue team was sent out to find them. Alas, one of the MRT members fell 150m and suffered life-changing injuries. The two idiots got fined £200 each.
BBC report

They should send them a hefty bill for all the inconvenience. We are far too soft with this sort of thing in the UK. A pat on the head and 'there,there' isn't appropriate when people are risking their lives for other people's foolishness. I do begin to wonder whether the government needs to open re-education facilities for people like this, the fees for which can be paid for by the miscreants.

[Rwy in Sight]

Hmm Ex,...many of us in these parts believe the only good snake is a dead snake...it's a reflection of our upbringing too...and I think that 21 of the top 25 deadliest snakes in the world can be found here...

And, how many people were killed in Australia by snakes in say 2020? And, how many people died of rat or other rodent carrying diseases which snakes help to eradicate? Some harmless ones prey on poisonous ones. Your statement is typical of NRs here. No understanding of the place of snakes ecologically. Don't stick your paws in gaps in rocks or wood piles. Keep eyes out when walking in the bush. They will go away from you.

Unfortunately snakes have bad press - and most people can't think calmly when one is approaching them they can't think very clearly...

Has your friend in Amorgos tried to visit gov.gr to see if here digital residence permit can be issued virtually - although I am not sure if it is accessible for a person from the UK! Maybe she can find some useful advice here

[TheGreenGoblin]

They should send them a hefty bill for all the inconvenience. We are far too soft with this sort of thing in the UK. A pat on the head and 'there,there' isn't appropriate when people are risking their lives for other people's foolishness. I do begin to wonder whether the government needs to open re-education facilities for people like this, the fees for which can be paid for by the miscreants.

A good friend (currently recovering from Covid in a compound in Saudi Arabia) visited the Everest base camp in Nepal and injured his knee and had to be helicoptered out. Fortunately he had taken out insurance, otherwise he would have been hit with at least a £25,000 helicopter rescue cost before his hospital fees. Some sort of insurance scheme might be required for cases here in the UK but how such a scheme would work is the big question. I mean what about the average day tripper who is walking in summer and has a heart attack, for example, should they be forced to pay if they aren't insured etc. etc? We don't want to terrify people into becoming risk averse and home bound, due to the potential crippling costs of outdoor activity.

[Ex-Ascot]

RiS many thanks I have sent her the link. She is extremely resourceful but may not have looked in this direction. The three of us share the same qualification!

Good Lord, you do not approach them you just stand still until they slither away. What can be more beautiful than this. We have one on our estate. No problem.

We were relocating one from the safari camp once as the pathetic tourists get frightened - don't come to f...ing Africa then. It was after a few beers. It was supposed to be in a sack in managers's vehicle. He had put it loose on the back seat of our car. It was quite happy in fact I think asleep. Well, which would you prefer the soft upholstery of a Land Cruiser or hanging half way up a tree?

[TheGreenGoblin]

RiS many thanks I have sent her the link. She is extremely resourceful but may not have looked in this direction. The three of us share the same qualification!

Good Lord, you do not approach them you just stand still until they slither away. What can be more beautiful than this. We have one on our estate. No problem.

Beautiful...

[TheGreenGoblin]

My favourite stripper, perhaps ian16th remembers her, was Glenda Kemp, whose python was called Oupa...



What a sophisticated bunch we South Africans are!

[ricardian]

Orkney Islands Council has just issued this update:

"It's going to be absolutely baltic again tonight - there’s snow and black ice forecast, with air temperatures down to -3 degrees and road surface temperatures below -5.
After heavy treatment over the last few days there will be an increased risk tonight and in the morning of black ice as snow melt freezes (remember, around dawn is often the coldest part of the day).
If you can - stay off the roads tonight and the early part of tomorrow, stay home and stay cosy. If you've got no choice, just go canny.
We’ll be out and about with gritters and snow ploughs until 6pm tonight and again from 6am tomorrow. Worth reminding you again that:
Grit is not a magic potion – it takes time and traffic for the salt to be activated and do its job. Always drive to conditions. Please have this conversation with any new or inexperienced drivers in your household.
Here in Orkney, we don’t grit before 6am, and we finish gritting at 6pm – so use judgement on whether to travel later at night. And be prepared with warm clothing, a fully charged phone, snacks and drinks.
With 370km of Priority 1 roads to keep passable and more than 600km of other routes we also treat, we can’t be everywhere at once with our gritters – roads and footpaths are prioritised so that major roads and routes to emergency services are treated first, followed by more minor routes. You can find out more about this hierarchy, including footpaths that are treated, in our Winter Service Plan: http://www.orkney.gov.uk/Council/W/Wint ... e-Plan.htm
There are around 320 grit bins located around Orkney! If you spot one running low, we’d sure appreciate you letting our Customer Service team know – go to www.orkney.gov.uk and ‘Report It’ – or call 01856 87 3535.
Be safe be seen! Wear high-viz - whether walking or cycling on our roads, or out de-icing or shovelling snow.
There’s loads more on our website about being prepared for winter – take a look: http://www.orkney.gov.uk/Council/W/Winter-Safety.htm
Take care, check on the vulnerable folks in your life - we're set for these very cold conditions for several days yet."

[tango15]

Full marks to the Council for putting out such a useful notice. I have one gripe with government institutions these days. More and more we are being given distance figures in kms - I notice the BBC does this a lot nowadays, too. Was I away from the UK on the day we changed over? Old gits like me have to do the mental arithmetic for this and I haven't got my head around cms and mms yet- I always have to convert it to inches in my head. I suppose it keeps my brain active, but I'd rather it was used for more interesting pursuits...

[Boac]

I still harbour the wish to revert to Imperial measures now we are free of the EU. Anyone for a pint?
Mind you, I always enjoyed driving faster in kph in Germany then mph in the UK....petrol is cheaper by the litre too.

[Ex-Ascot]

Full marks to the Council for putting out such a useful notice. I have one gripe with government institutions these days. More and more we are being given distance figures in kms - I notice the BBC does this a lot nowadays, too. Was I away from the UK on the day we changed over? Old gits like me have to do the mental arithmetic for this and I haven't got my head around cms and mms yet- I always have to convert it to inches in my head. I suppose it keeps my brain active, but I'd rather it was used for more interesting pursuits...

I was building an extension to our house in the Cotswolds many years ago. The building inspector came around and told me I had to dig the foundations for the walls one metre deep and two feet across.

That is a very good point Boac. So how did we get away with pint measures?

[tango15]

I still harbour the wish to revert to Imperial measures now we are free of the EU. Anyone for a pint?
Mind you, I always enjoyed driving faster in kph in Germany then mph in the UK....petrol is cheaper by the litre too.

+1, but in Germany, no matter how fast I drove, I always seemed to be overtaken by a young woman driving a Porsche