Unfortunate Names

[11Fan]

Then there's this tired old thing....... http://www.hendess.net/london.htm

Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted

Sound required for link to provide any measure of humor.

[OFSO]

A slight drift, but I used to send letters to my place of work which ended up on the "unknown recipients" notice board, to names like "Hugh G. Rektion". Only the English staff laughed. Foreigners were bemused.

[Pontius Navigator]

Hugh Jardon

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Hugh Jass was a talk radio host in Miami.
I suspect it wasn't his birth name.

[Capetonian]

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[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

[G-CPTN]

My wife wotked with a Lindsey Doyle.

[Hydromet]

Worked with a girl called Lisa Dean, known to all as dieseline. Her family ran a fleet of trucks.

[OFSO]

We used to phone a colleague who worked in the staff bar. She was nicknamed "Miss Piggy" so you can guess....We'd phone her and say "Is Mike Hunt there?" and she'd call out "Mike Hunt ? Where's Mike Hunt ? Anyone seen Mike Hunt ?" Never understood why people were making retching sounds.

[Pontius Navigator]

We had a Sgt whose name was ****ley-woolly known to one and all as Woolly-Pulley.

One day, after he was commissioned and serving at HQ I had occasion to ring him up. His phone was picked up by his Gp Capt at which point my brain stalled and I asked for Flt Lt W-P. The Gp Capt must have known the the nickname but was having a bad day. He humped and slammed the phone down.

[Pontius Navigator]

Had a guy my first sqn, lovely chap, Gordon Bennett.

[larsssnowpharter]

I was nominally under the command of General Richard Head when he was 2 i/c 5 ATAF.

Wasn't there a chap called Flt Lt Flight at Leuchars many years ago. OC GD or STN PRO or something?

A friend of mine, Peter Kay married a lovely lady called Kay.

Knew a chap named Gary for ages before finding out that his family name was Baldi.

My ex had a schoolfriend called Norman Conquest.

[Pontius Navigator]

Lars, definitely an SAC Officer

Also loggie, last Flt Lt Sarjeant.

[Capetonian]

Unfortunate coincidence. When I was in my late teens I worked at an outward bound camp in the Brecon Beacons as a sailing instructor and 'became intimate', as they say in the classics, with one of the pony trekking instructors (female I hasten to add.) Unbeknown to me, but seemingly everyone else knew, she and I shared the same surname, as well as the same tent!

The relationship didn't last very long as she had a Black Country accent, possibly the most unattractive of all British accents.

Another time, I had a g/f whose surname was Turpin. She called my office once and when I returned from a lunch break one of my colleagues said :
" Somebody called for you and asked you to call him back. He said it was Mr. Pin but sounded like a woman."

[G-CPTN]

Our office junior left a message to telephone Joy Spank - which turned out to be Lloyds Bank.

[Capetonian]

There used to be a ferry company operating across the North Sea called 'Sally Line'. Apparently people thought it was a sex chat line.

A tight fisted company I did some work for years ago booked a colleague and me into a hotel in Brussels, close to the Gare du Nord and in the red light district. It was pretty seedy and we went and stayed in another hotel, having christened the first place the 'Condom'.

Later in the week there was an argument with the 'boss' over where we would stay on the next visit. I said "We're not using the condom. Not negotiable."

Then there was a girl at a place I worked once whose surname was Lovelock. The sign on her door was frequently defaced.

[Capetonian]

Fortunate timing :

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I have come to the conclusion that the name Jeremy has unfortunate connotations.

Jeremy Corbin
Jeremy CHunt (as in the Culture Secretary!)
Jeremy Kyle (apparently his disgusting TV programme has been axed permanently. He should be axed too.)
Jeremy Clarkson (I like him but he's not everyone's cup of tea)
Jeremy Paxman (ditto)
Ron Jeremy (porn actor who was in the gutterpress yesterday looking like a meths drinker)

I was at school with a Jeremy who stank to high heaven and was a thief, and I had dealings in business with a Jeremy who was a devious conman and alleged child abuser. By an odd coincidence, both were from New Zealand.

I am quite sure there are some good people called Jeremy!

[Pontius Navigator]

Jeremy Thorpe
Jeremy Vine

[Smeagol]

You lot are nasty, my eldest son is called Jeremy!

(He can be a bit of a ***** at times)

[Ex-Ascot]

Did a combined Royal tour with BA once. One of the cabin crew was called Mary Rose. Our Flt Eng went down on her.