#27
Post
by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:48 am
Doomed Airliner Crashes in Flames
After a suspiciously long period of inactivity, the Government and airline industry have finally agreed to end the undeclared work-to-rule by airline pilots, which has resulted in zero disasters, or even minor crashes, for over six months. The damage to the media by this complete lack of an excuse for salacious headlines has been incalculable. The CEO of a charter airline has agreed to crash one of his aircraft in Britain, in return for a knighthood and the destruction of certain photographs which his wife and her lawyer would have been very interested in seeing. We enjoyed seeing them anyway, especially the one with the 3 strippers, the dog and the vat of custard. Almost like the old days.
A team of top journalists has been poring for weeks over passenger lists, selecting the most suitable victims, and flight reassignments blamed on "computer error" have just been issued. The dead will include: several mothers-of-three, a former Miss Sidcup, a youth football team, at least 12 'bloody foreigners' on whom assorted conspiracy theories can be blamed, and 2 government officials about whom information will be "sketchy at best". The crash site will be Acacia Crescent, Guildford, which has an excellent selection of fine, period properties that are, or have recently been, on the market.
*We apologise to readers for the complete lack of spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, factual inaccuracies, and reprinted paragraphs. This article was copy-edited for an historical lecture and the original lost.
