Friday Jokes

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Slasher

Re: Friday Jokes

#3401 Post by Slasher » Mon Sep 16, 2019 6:12 am

6471065d-366c-47cc-912e-d7d2cc0f1167.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3402 Post by Magnus » Mon Sep 16, 2019 7:39 am

Where's the damn 'like' button.....

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3403 Post by ricardian » Mon Sep 16, 2019 9:22 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3404 Post by llondel » Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:35 pm

Having spent the weekend mostly with the dogs, I discovered that "Leave it!" doesn't work nearly so well with cats.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3405 Post by llondel » Mon Sep 16, 2019 6:20 pm

I was reading a book on HTML error codes and noticed a missing page between 403 and 405.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3406 Post by Slasher » Wed Sep 18, 2019 3:35 am

How friggin true.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3407 Post by Woody » Wed Sep 18, 2019 1:46 pm

To close to the truth :D

When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3408 Post by ricardian » Wed Sep 18, 2019 9:22 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3409 Post by Slasher » Wed Sep 18, 2019 10:17 pm

Gives new meaning to Eat Sh!t And Die.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3410 Post by llondel » Thu Sep 19, 2019 3:19 pm

It's a real book, only $43 from Amazon

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3411 Post by ricardian » Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:11 am

My grandad always said "as one door closes another door opens".
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker!
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3412 Post by Slasher » Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:25 am


Capetonian

Re: Friday Jokes

#3413 Post by Capetonian » Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:27 am

That's funny but in my experience Indians rarely raise their voices.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3414 Post by Ex-Ascot » Sat Sep 21, 2019 12:33 pm

Capetonian wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:27 am
That's funny but in my experience Indians rarely raise their voices.
Agree Cape. Obviously British born. When operating through their bloody awful country I learnt very early on not to shout at them. They just froze and you would get nowhere.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3415 Post by Alisoncc » Sat Sep 21, 2019 1:44 pm

Might one quote Kipling.

Now it is not good for the Christians health to harass the aryan brown
For the Christian riles and the aryan smiles and it weareth the Christian down
And the end of the fight is a tombstone white with the name of the late deceased
With an epitaph drear "A fool lies here who tried to hurry the East".

Might be some variants as quoted entirely from memory at 23:30. Yawn.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3416 Post by ricardian » Sun Sep 22, 2019 3:49 am

The man who invented SpellCheck died today. May he rust in piss.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3417 Post by ExSp33db1rd » Sun Sep 22, 2019 6:30 am

Might be some variants as quoted entirely from memory at 23:30. Yawn.

I learnt it as Asian Brown ( nothing racist about me )

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3418 Post by ricardian » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:30 am

One for Slasher

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3419 Post by Sisemen » Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:02 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3420 Post by Ex-Ascot » Mon Sep 23, 2019 10:36 am

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a beautiful blonde, and a comely brunette are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel. As the compartment is plunged into complete darkness for the Nth time a ringing slap is heard. The train passes back into daylight and the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The brunette thinks 'I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.'

The blonde thinks 'I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the dowdy brunette for me and slapped the beast.'

The Frenchman thinks 'I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.'

The Englishman thinks 'I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French tw@t again.'
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