Friday Jokes

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ribrash

Re: Friday Jokes

#4881 Post by ribrash » Tue Mar 31, 2020 11:23 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4882 Post by ricardian » Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:12 pm

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are debating philosophy.
The question arises over the course of their debates: What separates man from the animals?
"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the heights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."
"I disagree," announces the Italian. "It is our food. The creatures of the wild eat, but they do not cook. Humans on the other hand, create amazing dishes and new combination that make eating a most enjoyable experience."
"I say it's art," decides the Frenchman. "No other being can create art. From our earliest days we have painted, and now we sculpt, write and compose as well. The wild animals cannot ever know what it is like to cry over a beautiful piece of art."
All three now look towards the Englishman, expecting his answer. He takes a long sip of tea before answering.
"The Channel"
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4883 Post by ian16th » Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:30 pm

+1 :-bd :YMHUG: ^:)^
Cynicism improves with age

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4884 Post by ricardian » Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:58 pm

Greta invited the Chinese to give up using chopsticks to save trees!
The Chinese have called on her and her friends to go back to school, where they will learn that chopsticks are made from bamboo, Bamboo is grass!
The Chinese invited Greta and her friends to stop wiping their butt with toilet paper, because it's made from trees! "
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4885 Post by ricardian » Tue Mar 31, 2020 3:43 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4886 Post by Karearea » Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:05 pm

"To the person who stole my glasses:
I will find you.
I have contacts."
And with the morn, those angel faces smile...

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4887 Post by llondel » Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:09 pm

ricardian wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:58 pm
Greta invited the Chinese to give up using chopsticks to save trees!
The Chinese have called on her and her friends to go back to school, where they will learn that chopsticks are made from bamboo, Bamboo is grass!
The Chinese invited Greta and her friends to stop wiping their butt with toilet paper, because it's made from trees! "
You can apparently get toilet paper made from bamboo too.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4888 Post by G-CPTN » Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:16 pm

I've always wanted to go on a bamboo shoot.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4889 Post by ricardian » Tue Mar 31, 2020 9:47 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4890 Post by tango15 » Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:55 pm

llondel wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:09 pm
ricardian wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:58 pm
Greta invited the Chinese to give up using chopsticks to save trees!
The Chinese have called on her and her friends to go back to school, where they will learn that chopsticks are made from bamboo, Bamboo is grass!
The Chinese invited Greta and her friends to stop wiping their butt with toilet paper, because it's made from trees! "
You can apparently get toilet paper made from bamboo too.
And sugar cane stalks once the sugar has been extracted from them, (known as bagasse). Trees are not such a big constituent in paper-making any more. A lot of toilet tissue is actually made from recycled paper and board, with just long-fibred pulp to give it some strength, but try not to think of that next time you're using it!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4891 Post by ricardian » Tue Mar 31, 2020 11:12 pm

And don't forget that the modern-day Greeks actually recycle toilet paper because their sewers are not designed for anything other than faeces.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4892 Post by ricardian » Tue Mar 31, 2020 11:27 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4893 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:34 am

llondel wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 8:09 pm
ricardian wrote:
Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:58 pm
Greta invited the Chinese to give up using chopsticks to save trees!
The Chinese have called on her and her friends to go back to school, where they will learn that chopsticks are made from bamboo, Bamboo is grass!
The Chinese invited Greta and her friends to stop wiping their butt with toilet paper, because it's made from trees! "
You can apparently get toilet paper made from bamboo too.
Yes, available in Amazon. It's washable.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4894 Post by barkingmad » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:04 am

Bamboo fibre socks are very comfortable and supposedly healthy wearing compared with artificial fibres.
Whether you wish to botty wipe, post-wear but pre-wash, is a philosophical question only you and your psychotherapist will address?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4895 Post by fareastdriver » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:44 am

Reminds me of a story in Iran just after the Shah was overthrown.

Toilet paper was in desperately short supply and one lady accidentally dropped a new roll in the bath. Not wishing to lose it she took it outside, unrolled it carefully on the lawn to allow it to dry.

Her neighbour looked over the fence:

"Where do you buy reusable toilet paper?"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4896 Post by 4mastacker » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:05 am

staying safe.png
staying safe.png (400.75 KiB) Viewed 224 times
It's always my fault - SWMBO

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4897 Post by ricardian » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:35 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4898 Post by Ex-Ascot » Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:34 pm

You can make paper out of elephant droppings. Now that is real recycling. Elephant ***** toilet paper. ESTP. A few here including RiS and Reddo will know what that stands for. All the same *****.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4899 Post by Woody » Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:38 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:34 pm
You can make paper out of elephant droppings. Now that is real recycling. Elephant *sh*t* toilet paper. ESTP. A few here including RiS and Reddo will know what that stands for. All the same *sh*t*.
I’ve seen it for sale in ZA :D
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4900 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Apr 01, 2020 4:43 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:34 pm
You can make paper out of elephant droppings. Now that is real recycling. Elephant *sh*t* toilet paper. ESTP. A few here including RiS and Reddo will know what that stands for. All the same *sh*t*.
Sounds like something a Duchess might try

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