Friday Jokes
Re: Friday Jokes
Boac:
Google and Youtube.
Just reserved the Cd of the musical from library.
All libraries closed but the city adjacent to me has drive-up windows at several branches. Very handy for pick-up and drop-off.
Using my local library strictly for e-books as that and streaming services are all that is available.
PP
Google and Youtube.
Just reserved the Cd of the musical from library.
All libraries closed but the city adjacent to me has drive-up windows at several branches. Very handy for pick-up and drop-off.
Using my local library strictly for e-books as that and streaming services are all that is available.
PP
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 2510
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:20 am
- Location: Back home, looking for a bad bottle of Red
- Gender:
- Age: 69
Re: Friday Jokes
A Farmer's Daughter once informed me langtaim back that 'rolling in the hay' such as inferred a few posts back is not a good idea!
Pieces of straw have a habit of getting into parts of the body that make things most uncomfortable!
Pieces of straw have a habit of getting into parts of the body that make things most uncomfortable!
You only live twice. Once when you're born. Once when you've looked death in the face.
Re: Friday Jokes
Likewise on a sandy beach.Pinky the pilot wrote: ↑Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:18 amA Farmer's Daughter once informed me langtaim back that 'rolling in the hay' such as inferred a few posts back is not a good idea!
Pieces of straw have a habit of getting into parts of the body that make things most uncomfortable!
I asked - What's in it for me?
She replied - Sand!
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 2331
- Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 9:32 am
- Location: Fliegensville Gold Coast
- Gender:
- Age: 51
Re: Friday Jokes
Likewise on a sandy beach.
I asked - What's in it for me?
She replied - Sand!
Ha ha, always referred to as a 'Crumbed Sausage' when we were growing up (and shagging in the sand dunes!)
I asked - What's in it for me?
She replied - Sand!
Ha ha, always referred to as a 'Crumbed Sausage' when we were growing up (and shagging in the sand dunes!)
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go... Oscar Wilde
Re: Friday Jokes
Or grit in the bearings.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Question : When is the use of "@#$%" or "@#$%ing" acceptable?
Answer: There are only 11 times throughout history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. In ASCENDING order, those exclamations were:
11 . "What the @#$% do you mean, we’re sinking?"
~ Capt. E. J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912.
10 . "What the @#$% was that?"
~ Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945
9 . " Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
~ George Custer, 1877
8 . "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
~ Albert Einstein, 1938.
7 . "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
~ Picasso, 1926
6 . "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
~ Pythagoras, 126 BC.
5 . "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
~ Michelangelo, 1566.
4 . "Where the @#$% are we?"
~ Amelia Earhart, 1937
3 . "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
~ Noah, 4314 BC
2 . "Aw, come on Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
~ Bill Clinton, 1998
AND THE WINNER IS .....
1 . "There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President"
~ Hillary Clinton, 2016
Answer: There are only 11 times throughout history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. In ASCENDING order, those exclamations were:
11 . "What the @#$% do you mean, we’re sinking?"
~ Capt. E. J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912.
10 . "What the @#$% was that?"
~ Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945
9 . " Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
~ George Custer, 1877
8 . "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
~ Albert Einstein, 1938.
7 . "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
~ Picasso, 1926
6 . "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
~ Pythagoras, 126 BC.
5 . "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
~ Michelangelo, 1566.
4 . "Where the @#$% are we?"
~ Amelia Earhart, 1937
3 . "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
~ Noah, 4314 BC
2 . "Aw, come on Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
~ Bill Clinton, 1998
AND THE WINNER IS .....
1 . "There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President"
~ Hillary Clinton, 2016
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10244
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 59
Re: Friday Jokes
Mayor of Hiroshima visiting Nagasaki “ ****ing hell not again”
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Re: Friday Jokes
There was a tale of some chap who survived both.
- TheGreenGoblin
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 17596
- Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:02 pm
- Location: With the Water People near Trappist-1
Re: Friday Jokes
Though you remain
Convinced
"To be alive
You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
Elusive."
Convinced
"To be alive
You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
Elusive."
- CharlieOneSix
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5004
- Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:58 pm
- Location: NE Scotland
- Gender:
- Age: 79
Re: Friday Jokes
Sent to me by FD2..........
.
.
The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org
- TheGreenGoblin
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 17596
- Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:02 pm
- Location: With the Water People near Trappist-1
Re: Friday Jokes
Superb...
Though you remain
Convinced
"To be alive
You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
Elusive."
Convinced
"To be alive
You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
Elusive."
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Q: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?
A: Ian.
A: Ian.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 3484
- Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 12:42 pm
- Location: Edinburgh
- Gender:
- Age: 71
Re: Friday Jokes
ricardian, I was sent that the other day by a friend called Ian who is a magician.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
- Location: Gravity be the clue
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Saves wear and tear.