Friday Jokes

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PHXPhlyer
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4921 Post by PHXPhlyer » Sat Apr 04, 2020 7:53 pm

Boac:
Google and Youtube.
Just reserved the Cd of the musical from library. :-bd
All libraries closed but the city adjacent to me has drive-up windows at several branches. Very handy for pick-up and drop-off. :-bd
Using my local library strictly for e-books as that and streaming services are all that is available.

PP

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4922 Post by Pinky the pilot » Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:18 am

A Farmer's Daughter once informed me langtaim back that 'rolling in the hay' such as inferred a few posts back is not a good idea! :-q

Pieces of straw have a habit of getting into parts of the body that make things most uncomfortable! [-X
You only live twice. Once when you're born. Once when you've looked death in the face.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4923 Post by G-CPTN » Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:53 am

Pinky the pilot wrote:
Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:18 am
A Farmer's Daughter once informed me langtaim back that 'rolling in the hay' such as inferred a few posts back is not a good idea! :-q

Pieces of straw have a habit of getting into parts of the body that make things most uncomfortable! [-X
Likewise on a sandy beach.

I asked - What's in it for me?
She replied - Sand!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4924 Post by ricardian » Sun Apr 05, 2020 9:07 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4925 Post by Fliegenmong » Sun Apr 05, 2020 9:46 am

Likewise on a sandy beach.

I asked - What's in it for me?
She replied - Sand!


Ha ha, always referred to as a 'Crumbed Sausage' when we were growing up (and shagging in the sand dunes!) :))
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go... Oscar Wilde

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4926 Post by Hydromet » Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:44 am

Or grit in the bearings.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4927 Post by Boac » Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:57 am


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Re: Friday Jokes

#4928 Post by ricardian » Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:11 pm

Question : When is the use of "@#$%" or "@#$%ing" acceptable?
Answer: There are only 11 times throughout history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. In ASCENDING order, those exclamations were:
11 . "What the @#$% do you mean, we’re sinking?"
~ Capt. E. J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912.
10 . "What the @#$% was that?"
~ Mayor Of Hiroshima , 1945
9 . " Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
~ George Custer, 1877
8 . "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
~ Albert Einstein, 1938.
7 . "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
~ Picasso, 1926
6 . "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
~ Pythagoras, 126 BC.
5 . "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
~ Michelangelo, 1566.
4 . "Where the @#$% are we?"
~ Amelia Earhart, 1937
3 . "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
~ Noah, 4314 BC
2 . "Aw, come on Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
~ Bill Clinton, 1998
AND THE WINNER IS .....
1 . "There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President"
~ Hillary Clinton, 2016
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4929 Post by Woody » Sun Apr 05, 2020 7:02 pm

Mayor of Hiroshima visiting Nagasaki “ ****ing hell not again”
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4930 Post by llondel » Sun Apr 05, 2020 7:31 pm

There was a tale of some chap who survived both.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4931 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Sun Apr 05, 2020 7:39 pm

Though you remain
Convinced
"To be alive
You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
Elusive."

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4932 Post by CharlieOneSix » Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:19 pm

Sent to me by FD2..........
.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4933 Post by TheGreenGoblin » Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:25 pm

CharlieOneSix wrote:
Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:19 pm
Sent to me by FD2..........
Superb... =))
Though you remain
Convinced
"To be alive
You must have somewhere
To go
Your destination remains
Elusive."

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4934 Post by ricardian » Sun Apr 05, 2020 10:44 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4935 Post by ricardian » Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:34 am

Q: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

A: Ian.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4936 Post by G-CPTN » Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:06 am

ricardian wrote:
Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:34 am
Q: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?

A: Ian.
Profound!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4937 Post by ian16th » Mon Apr 06, 2020 11:22 am

Why do I feel put on?
Cynicism improves with age

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4938 Post by Magnus » Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:07 pm

ricardian, I was sent that the other day by a friend called Ian who is a magician.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#4939 Post by ricardian » Mon Apr 06, 2020 5:00 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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Re: Friday Jokes

#4940 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:05 pm

Saves wear and tear.

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