Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Clever!

[OFSO]

The BBC have been accused of not featuring enough black people on their television channels. In response, the Head of Programming stated that in future "Crimewatch" would be shown seven days a week.

[ribrash]

The BBC have been accused of not featuring enough black people on their television channels. In response, the Head of Programming stated that in future "Crimewatch" would be shown seven days a week.

+10

[ricardian]

Tiddles, the tail-less pub cat should have consulted the renowned veterinary surgeon Dr Frankincense who was famous for the first succesful feline tail transplant. So skilled was the great vet that he was even able to split a donor tail in two to provide a new tail for two cats. As his fame spread a worldwide best-selling novel was written in his honour; the title of the novel was "A Tail of Two Kitties."

[FD2]

[FD2]

[ricardian]

Something for the horticulturally-minded folk on this group

[ricardian]

Well spotted!

[ricardian]

Such a sad sign of the times

[ricardian]

Oh dear! How sad...

[bob2s]

Oh dear! How sad...

Looks more like she is straining whilst on the crapper and choking a darkie.

[Boac]

choking a darkie

Not sure you can get away with that

[Boac]

Oh dear! How sad...

Alternative title
"You'll never believe what he has asked me to do!"

[FD2]

I've always thought the slitty eyes were just her 'thing', but maybe she just needs a pair of glasses.

[bob2s]

LIFE NOW
After all the many stupid things I’ve done in my life…if I die because I touched my face, I am going to be seriously annoyed.

2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people

.The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

You think it’s bad now? In 20 years, our country will be run by people home-schooled by day drinkers…

Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighbourhood! Those are your neighbours without makeup and their natural hair colour!

Day 15 at home and the dog is looking at me like, ‘See? This is why I chew the furniture!

’Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

I never thought the comment ‘I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole’ would become a national policy, but here we are!

I swear my fridge just said, ‘what the hell do you want now?

’Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.

When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA?

[PHXPhlyer]

bob2s:

+1

PP

[ricardian]

Thinking out of the box

[Rwy in Sight]

bob2s:

+1

PP

I share those Smilies so good bob2s!

[FD2]

bob!

[ricardian]

Little-known facts #1492