Friday Jokes

General Chit Chat
Message
Author
Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#7661 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:14 am

Remember Gentlemen, like tea, the Americans don't do toast properly either.

G CPTN, egg in a cup in our household was just that, she'll peeled off then mashed with butter. Indeed to make it more paletable and remove all the gritty bits. I still have a hatred of egg shell in my boiled egg.

Another delicacy is Coddled egg. Prepared the night before, break an egg into Royal Worcester porcelain coddling dish (it's a pot) and add salt and pepper, a dash of butter, and chopped up bacon (something else that is different in the USA). Screw on the lid and leave in the fridge overnight. In the morning put the prepared coddling dish in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes. The time is not critical.

Remove carefully and serve. Hold the dish with your napkin and unscrew the top. It will be very hot but as the pot is full there will be no stream. Voilà, bacon and egg, no mess.

Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#7662 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:19 am

PHXPhlyer wrote:
Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:45 pm
I have solved my egg situation by only buying liquid eggs.
Just pour from the carton into my microwave omelet maker, add some veggies and cheese, and in less than 3 minutes...good eatin'. :) :-bd :YMAPPLAUSE:

PP
Rule 1 on a cruise ship or hotel, only eat egg that you see had a shell.

Rule 2 in a restaurant, only eat chicken that has bones or skin

When Chicken Kiev was first sold in shops it was kosher. Later they actually added a piece of bone.

User avatar
ian16th
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 10029
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:35 am
Location: KZN South Coast with the bananas
Gender:
Age: 87

Re: Friday Jokes

#7663 Post by ian16th » Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:24 am

From 1967 to 1971 we lived in a village to the north of Hereford.
The local farmer delivered the filtered but unpasteurized milk, from his cows.
He also delivered eggs. Sometimes he couldn't fill the full order, and he would apologise, and say, 'I'll have to see it the hens have laid any more'.
Them was fresh eggs!
Cynicism improves with age

EA01
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 2979
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 7:53 am
Location: OOL
Gender:
Age: 51

Re: Friday Jokes

#7664 Post by EA01 » Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:58 am

Yes fresh Chook eggs are a delight compared to the ones from the shops! The yolk is such a vibrant colour compared to ones from the shops!

User avatar
Undried Plum
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 7308
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:45 pm
Location: 56°N 4°W

Re: Friday Jokes

#7665 Post by Undried Plum » Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:02 am

OFSO wrote:
Wed Sep 22, 2021 5:22 am
Couple of years ago a friend gave us some eggs from his hens that run lose round his estate. Delicious. No comparison with shop eggs.
We have fresh eggs every day. We keep the warm ones for ourselves and give away the cold ones.

Haven't bought eggs from a shop in well over twenty years. Sometimes we buy goose eggs from a neighbour as we only keep chooks. I guess we prolly get the cold ones, but they're always less than a couple of days old, so pretty fresh.

Hydromet
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 4300
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:55 am
Location: SE Oz
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#7666 Post by Hydromet » Wed Sep 22, 2021 10:57 am

Hard to go past fresh eggs. Had a good set up with my neighbour. He'd give me chook manure for the compost heap. I'd grow more vegetables than we could handle and give him some (his family are vegetarians) and he'd give us eggs. Worked well until he had snakes trying to get to his chooks.

I've cooked with emu eggs – equivalent to about 10 chook eggs, very rich but omelettes were a bit dry. Fruit cakes were excellent. Not legal now, of course.

User avatar
tango15
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 2419
Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2019 12:43 pm
Location: East Midlands
Gender:
Age: 79

Re: Friday Jokes

#7667 Post by tango15 » Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:07 pm

Not a fan of eggs at all. I will occasionally knock up an omelette if I'm not feeling too chipper, but they're a no-no otherwise, other than in cooking where they're not identifiable. As the relationship was racing headlong towards divorce, my ex- would deliberately cook poached egg in the kitchen, because she knew they made me feel sick.

User avatar
Opsboi
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 2716
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:37 pm
Location: Watching LHR D-09 E
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#7668 Post by Opsboi » Wed Sep 22, 2021 7:23 pm

Not a lot of yolks in this thread, are there?

Oh, hang on...

User avatar
OFSO
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 18597
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 6:39 pm
Location: Teddington UK and Roses Catalunia
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#7669 Post by OFSO » Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:12 pm

Eggxactly!

User avatar
Opsboi
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 2716
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:37 pm
Location: Watching LHR D-09 E
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#7670 Post by Opsboi » Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:22 pm

I admitted to my wife that I rather fancy Beyonce

She replied "Whatever floats your boat..."

I said "No, that's buoyancy"

Hydromet
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 4300
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:55 am
Location: SE Oz
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#7671 Post by Hydromet » Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:31 pm

When we were first married, my wife asked how long she had to boil an egg for before it was tender.

User avatar
unifoxos
Capt
Capt
Posts: 959
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:36 am
Location: Twycross Zoo, or thereabouts
Gender:
Age: 78

Re: Friday Jokes

#7672 Post by unifoxos » Thu Sep 23, 2021 6:40 am

When we were first married, my wife asked how long she had to boil an egg for before it was tender.

Cousin-in-law was a cook in the NZ army. Told us a tale of a new recruit who was detailed to boil 60 eggs for the mess breakfast. At three minutes each the lad rose early and put them on at 0400!
Sent from my tatty old Windoze PC.

User avatar
Ex-Ascot
Test Pilot
Test Pilot
Posts: 13095
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:16 am
Location: Botswana but sometimes Greece
Gender:
Age: 68

Re: Friday Jokes

#7673 Post by Ex-Ascot » Thu Sep 23, 2021 10:03 am

Just about to pop around to the safari camp for 6 warm eggs. Don't know the price in the UK now but we pay 78p for 6 free range organic eggs laid that day.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

k3k3
Capt
Capt
Posts: 1492
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2015 9:44 pm
Location: In the Transit Lounge

Re: Friday Jokes

#7674 Post by k3k3 » Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:15 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Thu Sep 23, 2021 10:03 am
Just about to pop around to the safari camp for 6 warm eggs. Don't know the price in the UK now but we pay 78p for 6 free range organic eggs laid that day.
6 Sainsbury's organic woodland free range large eggs cost £1.90.

User avatar
CharlieOneSix
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5004
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 12:58 pm
Location: NE Scotland
Gender:
Age: 79

Re: Friday Jokes

#7675 Post by CharlieOneSix » Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:39 pm

Whilst we're on the subject of eggs etc, I took Dexter Dog for a walk just now. Three chickens crossed the road in front of us. It was poultry in motion.
The helicopter pilots' mantra: If it hasn't gone wrong then it's just about to...
https://www.glenbervie-weather.org

User avatar
llondel
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5909
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:17 am
Location: San Jose

Re: Friday Jokes

#7676 Post by llondel » Thu Sep 23, 2021 4:11 pm

Looks like the Far East answer to the Ancient Martial Art of Ecky Thump. Except theirs is Eggy Thump.

User avatar
Undried Plum
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 7308
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:45 pm
Location: 56°N 4°W

Re: Friday Jokes

#7677 Post by Undried Plum » Thu Sep 23, 2021 6:34 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Thu Sep 23, 2021 10:03 am
Don't know the price in the UK now but we pay 78p for 6 free range organic eggs laid that day.

Lemme tell ya: there is no fukkin way that 6 eggs can be sold for a profit at a price of 78p.

Good eggs are produced for love.

Just like good honey.


Added to add that: as a Noggie type person, I know that: the exchange rate of a pula does vary according to circumstances and volume, as well as sweetness. Those girls over there know that too.

User avatar
Ex-Ascot
Test Pilot
Test Pilot
Posts: 13095
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:16 am
Location: Botswana but sometimes Greece
Gender:
Age: 68

Re: Friday Jokes

#7678 Post by Ex-Ascot » Fri Sep 24, 2021 6:12 am

UP I assure you that he is making a profit and that is buying good feed and medication. It is very cheap to live here. Minimum wage for domestic staff is 18p an hour. We pay way over that. Not sure what the safari companies pay their domestic staff but it is not much. The cost at some camps is 2,000 USD a night per person. Come over here and buy yourself a concession. A very good investment, especially at the moment. You could get a Lion's share =))

Thought that this was a joke thread. Sorry can't think of one.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

User avatar
FD2
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5110
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 10:11 pm
Location: New Zealand
Gender:
Age: 76

Re: Friday Jokes

#7679 Post by FD2 » Fri Sep 24, 2021 11:14 am

Back to less eggyness then.

A young man wished to purchase a present for his sweetheart and after careful consideration, he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, he sealed the package and sent it to her with this note. Dearest Darling, This is a little gift to show my affection for you on our Anniversary. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked great. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other men's hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night. All my love,

P.S. Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing.

User avatar
Opsboi
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 2716
Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:37 pm
Location: Watching LHR D-09 E
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#7680 Post by Opsboi » Fri Sep 24, 2021 5:55 pm

What with all the fuss about garages in the UK affected by a shortage of tanker delivery drivers, I'm off out to buy loads of Corona beer, tequila, tacos, nachos and chillies

Hispanic buying

Post Reply