Friday Jokes

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PHXPhlyer
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7801 Post by PHXPhlyer » Sun Oct 17, 2021 9:40 pm

ricardian wrote:
Sun Oct 17, 2021 7:31 pm
Just when you thought that merchandise couldn't get any tackier someone says "Hold my beer and watch this!
Not sure what the USA flag has to do with it. And since when has the name Jesus been trade-marked?
Are those mountable on the dashboard of your car? :-? :ymdevil:

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7802 Post by ricardian » Sun Oct 17, 2021 11:02 pm

PHXPhlyer wrote:
Sun Oct 17, 2021 9:40 pm
ricardian wrote:
Sun Oct 17, 2021 7:31 pm
Just when you thought that merchandise couldn't get any tackier someone says "Hold my beer and watch this!
Not sure what the USA flag has to do with it. And since when has the name Jesus been trade-marked?
Are those mountable on the dashboard of your car? :-? :ymdevil:
PP
I don't think that the monks of Golgotha Monastery (www.papastronsay.com) would be amused!
However, as of this weekend I no longer have a car so there's no danger of that happening.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7803 Post by PHXPhlyer » Sun Oct 17, 2021 11:15 pm

You could still mount one on your walker, wheelchair, or mobility scooter whenever the need arises.
Google lyrics for "Plastic Jesus".

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7804 Post by John Hill » Mon Oct 18, 2021 2:31 am

ricardian wrote:
Sun Oct 17, 2021 7:31 pm
Not sure what the USA flag has to do with it. And since when has the name Jesus been trade-marked?
Jesus is the son of god and americans are god's chosen people.
Been in data comm since we formed the bits individually with a Morse key.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7805 Post by OFSO » Mon Oct 18, 2021 4:00 pm

gimg-3.jpg
Stolen from the Old Guys in t'other place...

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7806 Post by Wodrick » Mon Oct 18, 2021 4:24 pm

My Mum went to school with Thora.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7807 Post by Undried Plum » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:12 pm


ricardian
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Re: Friday Jokes

#7808 Post by ricardian » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:22 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7809 Post by fareastdriver » Thu Oct 21, 2021 9:34 am

Old Joe is on the way out. He is dying. The doctor has packed his case and left; the priest has been around for a few prayers and the neighbours have had their last embarrassing farewells. Left alone by his wife he knows she cannot care a damn about him.

The aroma of eclairs strays into the bedroom. She may be useless at anything else but her chocolate eclairs are there to die for ( excuse the pun) so he calls out for one. No answer; she has probably gone to the bingo or suchlike.

It may be his last chance! He struggles out of bed and onto the floor. On his hands and knees he crawls out of the bedroom and down the passage to the kitchen. As he enters he can see a plate of eclairs on the kitchen table. Summing up his last reserves he crawls over and reaches out for one.

A crack across the knuckles with a wooden spoon.

"Leave those alone. They're for your funeral!"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7810 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Oct 21, 2021 10:56 am

Good one Larss

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7811 Post by ricardian » Thu Oct 21, 2021 1:04 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7812 Post by ricardian » Thu Oct 21, 2021 1:17 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7813 Post by Boac » Thu Oct 21, 2021 6:20 pm

A Bristol BLM spokesperson said the lorry was thought to have supported the slave trade.


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Re: Friday Jokes

#7814 Post by FD2 » Thu Oct 21, 2021 7:01 pm

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Thu Oct 21, 2021 10:56 am
Good one Larss
I hate to miss a good joke but can't find it?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7815 Post by llondel » Thu Oct 21, 2021 10:34 pm

A teacher who cruelly ordered his student to write a complete essay without using full stops has been handed a long sentence.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7816 Post by OFSO » Fri Oct 22, 2021 5:44 am

That is appalling, Llondel. Sent to my contacts at 6am. I already received complaints.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7817 Post by ricardian » Sat Oct 23, 2021 3:28 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7818 Post by ricardian » Sun Oct 24, 2021 6:00 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7819 Post by FD2 » Sun Oct 24, 2021 8:19 pm

PHOTO-2021-10-25-08-12-40.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#7820 Post by FD2 » Sun Oct 24, 2021 8:20 pm

PHOTO-2021-10-25-07-59-54.jpg

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