Friday Jokes
- Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Made the mistake of going shoe shopping with a girlfriend many moons ago. We went to every shoe shop in Altrincham which was many. She ended up buying shoes at the first shop we had gone into.
We just go into a shop buy what we want, if they have it, and walk out.
We just go into a shop buy what we want, if they have it, and walk out.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
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Re: Friday Jokes
I keep telling Mrs PN, if you see it, think you might like it, get it. It saves a journey the next day by which time it will have gone.Ex-Ascot wrote: ↑Tue Jun 28, 2022 7:02 amMade the mistake of going shoe shopping with a girlfriend many moons ago. We went to every shoe shop in Altrincham which was many. She ended up buying shoes at the first shop we had gone into.
We just go into a shop buy what we want, if they have it, and walk out.
- Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes
Think I’ve struck a nerve with that one
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Has to be the Daily Snail:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... i=10960113Catholic priest is jailed for 30 years for murdering albino man in Malawi so his body parts could be sold on black market
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes
I organised an overseas trip to Florida for some schoolgirls, including skydiving.
Because it is illegal for unmarried women to skydive on Sundays (I am not making this up!), we needed something else for them to do.
I'd written the trip instruction like an RAF Op Order to make sure I didn't miss anything, so I just added the shoe shops of Bal Harbor Mall to the list of Places of Worship.
And that was the religious service they all chose to attend
I also issued each group with a walkie-talkie, so I could avoid having to traipse round with them, and still round them up at the end.
https://www.spatzlawfirm.com/blog/2019/ ... now-about/
Because it is illegal for unmarried women to skydive on Sundays (I am not making this up!), we needed something else for them to do.
I'd written the trip instruction like an RAF Op Order to make sure I didn't miss anything, so I just added the shoe shops of Bal Harbor Mall to the list of Places of Worship.
And that was the religious service they all chose to attend
I also issued each group with a walkie-talkie, so I could avoid having to traipse round with them, and still round them up at the end.
https://www.spatzlawfirm.com/blog/2019/ ... now-about/
- Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes
It is only about 10 years ago here that ladies were allowed to wear trousers in the street. Even now going to the village tribal office location, which includes the cop shop and village administration offices guys have to wear trousers and ladies skirts. It is a complete pain.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
Re: Friday Jokes
Only one? I've had a "couple of items" trip turn out to be an overloaded shopping trolley, which probably equates to several shopping bags.
I've been known to choose to carry a basket, on the basis that then I don't have room for more.
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Re: Friday Jokes
He says. "I'll just nip into town". She says. "I'll come with you". He thinks. Thats the day buggered then...
- Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Snow Man
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
Re: Friday Jokes
Men need a reason to go shopping, women just need an opportunity. With sex, it's the other way round.
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Re: Friday Jokes
Q: What do you call a magician who has lost his magic?
A: Ian
A: Ian
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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- Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, of all your fantastic jokes I think that this one comes at the very bottom.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
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Re: Friday Jokes
My previous career as a writer of jokes for Xmas crackers is showing
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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Re: Friday Jokes
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript, so he goes to the Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The Abbot says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot so the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He finds the abbot banging his head against the wall and wailing.
"We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the bloody R!"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the Abbot, "What ever is the matter, father?"
With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE!"
The Abbot says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives, in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the Old Abbot so the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He finds the abbot banging his head against the wall and wailing.
"We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the bloody R!"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the Abbot, "What ever is the matter, father?"
With a choking voice, the old Abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE!"
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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Re: Friday Jokes
We holiday in Italy each year. I once counted her shoes. 8 pairs. How did we spend our days? Feckn shoe-shopping.
Back to Friday jokes. On father's day, one daughter bought me a pack of 101 Dad jokes. Everybody now hates her.
Back to Friday jokes. On father's day, one daughter bought me a pack of 101 Dad jokes. Everybody now hates her.
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Re: Friday Jokes
I,m off to see my lad in Naples,at the end of October.Can you recommend any good shoe shops ?