Friday Jokes
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 10281
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:33 pm
- Location: Sir Kenny Dalglish Stand
- Age: 59
Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
One Sunday after Sunday School a mother asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't worry, you'll get your electric blanket."
Needless to say, the mother was quite perplexed. Later in the day, the vicar stopped by for tea and the mother asked him what that morning's Sunday School lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy Comforter is coming."
The daughter answered, "Don't worry, you'll get your electric blanket."
Needless to say, the mother was quite perplexed. Later in the day, the vicar stopped by for tea and the mother asked him what that morning's Sunday School lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy Comforter is coming."
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Such as needle naddle noo.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
If a man walking along the street sinks his teeth into a dog it's worthy of making the news. The other way around, it's just a bit pedestrian.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
I couldn't eat a whole one as an entree, I'd have no room for soup & dessert (or cheese & bikkies)
And for goodness sake don't show this to Prince Andrew!
And for goodness sake don't show this to Prince Andrew!
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Opsboi
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 2753
- Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2015 5:37 pm
- Location: Watching LHR D-09 E
- Gender:
Re: Friday Jokes
Time to thank ricardian again for his contributions
I often nick his stuff and post it on another site, giving the credit to a pilot who tested the prototypes of TSR2, Concorde and the Saab Viggen
They are impressed...
I often nick his stuff and post it on another site, giving the credit to a pilot who tested the prototypes of TSR2, Concorde and the Saab Viggen
They are impressed...
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13239
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
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- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
+1!!
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13239
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
After the success of drones in the war, the Ukrainians are now treating Russians waving either white flags or brown underpants as signs of surrender.
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Some nicknames that have been given to some characters from Glasgow, Scotland by their workmates and friends:
*Two Soups*
- his real name is Campbell Baxter.
*Norrie Two Bonnets*
- the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.
*The Colostomy*
- the girlfriend of a married man (i.e. the wee bag on the side).
*The Boomerang Kid*
- whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always replies: 'I'll get back to you on that. '
*The Parachute*
- lets everyone down at the last minute.
*Vaseline*
- his real name is Willie Burns.
*Rembrandt*
- loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the picture...'
*Bo Derek*
- a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.
*The Genie*
- magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.
*Dulux*
- his pals reckon he's only got one coat.
*Soapy*
- washes his hands of any problems that crop up..
*The Yeti*
- always on the sick. Many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.
*The Gas Man*
- he's serviced loads of old boilers.
*The Hostage*
- when anyone asks for help he always replies: 'Sorry, my hands are tied.'
*The Olympic Flame*
- He never goes out.
*Two Soups*
- his real name is Campbell Baxter.
*Norrie Two Bonnets*
- the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.
*The Colostomy*
- the girlfriend of a married man (i.e. the wee bag on the side).
*The Boomerang Kid*
- whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always replies: 'I'll get back to you on that. '
*The Parachute*
- lets everyone down at the last minute.
*Vaseline*
- his real name is Willie Burns.
*Rembrandt*
- loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the picture...'
*Bo Derek*
- a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.
*The Genie*
- magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.
*Dulux*
- his pals reckon he's only got one coat.
*Soapy*
- washes his hands of any problems that crop up..
*The Yeti*
- always on the sick. Many unconfirmed sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.
*The Gas Man*
- he's serviced loads of old boilers.
*The Hostage*
- when anyone asks for help he always replies: 'Sorry, my hands are tied.'
*The Olympic Flame*
- He never goes out.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
"Harpic"
Clean round the bend.
"Minuteman"
In the habit of asking "Got a minute, mate."
"Hydraulic"
Will lift anything that's not nailed down.
"Wang"
Surname Kerr
Clean round the bend.
"Minuteman"
In the habit of asking "Got a minute, mate."
"Hydraulic"
Will lift anything that's not nailed down.
"Wang"
Surname Kerr
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 13239
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
- Gender:
- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Roman numerals have consequences
- ExSp33db1rd
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 3237
- Joined: Sat Sep 12, 2015 1:51 am
- Location: Lesser Antipode
- Gender:
- Age: 89
Re: Friday Jokes
Nicknames ?
The Mirror - "I'll look into it "
The Teeth - A dentist called John Nash, ( used to frequent the local pub ! )
The Mirror - "I'll look into it "
The Teeth - A dentist called John Nash, ( used to frequent the local pub ! )