Why do you think Kevin would know?
Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
My first thought would be it's an alien seduction. Induction? Reduction?
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing that I'd like to donate to a charity shop.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash, much easier.
Wife: But there are poor, starving people who can use those clothes.
Husband: My dear, anyone who fits into your clothes is definitely not starving.
(The husband is expected to be out of hospital very soon)
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash, much easier.
Wife: But there are poor, starving people who can use those clothes.
Husband: My dear, anyone who fits into your clothes is definitely not starving.
(The husband is expected to be out of hospital very soon)
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Due to an unfortunate spelling error which I made whilst booking next year's holiday on the Norfolk Broads I now find that I am spending next year's holiday on the Norfolk B roads.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Mother & child reunion.
Re: Friday Jokes
Meanwhile, inside the box, Schrödinger's cat plans its revenge.
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
It Snowed Last night.
8-00 am : I made a Snowman.
8-10 - A Lady passed by and asked me why I didn't make a Snow woman.
8-15 so I made a Snow woman.
8-18 my female neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8-20 The gay couple living nearby threw a Hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8-23 I was asked why I hadn't just made a snow person
8-25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8-28 I was being called a racist because the snow couple was white.
8-31 The Muslim gentleman across the road demanded the snow woman wear a Burqa.
8-35 The police arrive and say someone has been offended.
8-38 The female neighbour complained again, that the Broomstick on the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8-40 The council equity officer arrives and threatened me with eviction.
8-45 TV crews from the BBC showed up, I was asked if there was a difference between a snowman and a snow woman! I replied
" snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
8-50 I was on the news a a suspected terrorist, Racist, Homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
8-55 I was asked if I had any accomplices, my children were taken into care.
9-00 Far left protesters offended by everything March down my street demanding I be arrested.
8-00 am : I made a Snowman.
8-10 - A Lady passed by and asked me why I didn't make a Snow woman.
8-15 so I made a Snow woman.
8-18 my female neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8-20 The gay couple living nearby threw a Hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.
8-23 I was asked why I hadn't just made a snow person
8-25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8-28 I was being called a racist because the snow couple was white.
8-31 The Muslim gentleman across the road demanded the snow woman wear a Burqa.
8-35 The police arrive and say someone has been offended.
8-38 The female neighbour complained again, that the Broomstick on the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8-40 The council equity officer arrives and threatened me with eviction.
8-45 TV crews from the BBC showed up, I was asked if there was a difference between a snowman and a snow woman! I replied
" snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
8-50 I was on the news a a suspected terrorist, Racist, Homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
8-55 I was asked if I had any accomplices, my children were taken into care.
9-00 Far left protesters offended by everything March down my street demanding I be arrested.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5977
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- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5977
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
OFSO; re your 'It snowed last night' joke....
I can still remember back around 1980 when I was living in Darwin NT of Australia and one evening watching 'The Goodies' TV show. One sketch really amused me at the time. Tim Brooke-Taylor was dressed as a Schoolboy and made to recite Baa Baa Black Sheep.
Whe he got to the words 'Black Sheep' the School Marm slammed her cane down on the desk and screamed 'Racist!!'
So TB-T changed it to something 'neutral.' I now forget what.
Next line "Yes sir Yes sir...." Cane again slammed on the desk with the scream "Elitist!!'
Words changed. When it came to 'One for the Master and one for the Dame'.... Cane on the desk again. "Sexist!!"
I forget the rest. But my point is that it was funny then....but now......
So just maybe your joke might not be a joke but one day become real life!
And that really worries me!
Btw; Can any of my fellow Ops-Normal Members whom are far more Net savvy than I find the Goodies sketch related above and post it?
I can still remember back around 1980 when I was living in Darwin NT of Australia and one evening watching 'The Goodies' TV show. One sketch really amused me at the time. Tim Brooke-Taylor was dressed as a Schoolboy and made to recite Baa Baa Black Sheep.
Whe he got to the words 'Black Sheep' the School Marm slammed her cane down on the desk and screamed 'Racist!!'
So TB-T changed it to something 'neutral.' I now forget what.
Next line "Yes sir Yes sir...." Cane again slammed on the desk with the scream "Elitist!!'
Words changed. When it came to 'One for the Master and one for the Dame'.... Cane on the desk again. "Sexist!!"
I forget the rest. But my point is that it was funny then....but now......
So just maybe your joke might not be a joke but one day become real life!
And that really worries me!
Btw; Can any of my fellow Ops-Normal Members whom are far more Net savvy than I find the Goodies sketch related above and post it?
You only live twice. Once when you're born. Once when you've looked death in the face.
Re: Friday Jokes
Along the lines of Stan Freburg and "Elderly Man River.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
I Googled "missing medieval servant".
The result came back "page not found".
The result came back "page not found".
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Ex-Ascot
- Test Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Just sent to me by a local.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
Re: Friday Jokes
Wife had a Hydromet moment this morning, "I was thinking".
We are now moving the, very heavy, dining table to the kitchen and the, very heavy, table I use for a second office table from the upstairs office to downstairs the dining room.
This, of course, means temporarily moving several other pieces of furniture to allow this to happen.
Growl!!
We are now moving the, very heavy, dining table to the kitchen and the, very heavy, table I use for a second office table from the upstairs office to downstairs the dining room.
This, of course, means temporarily moving several other pieces of furniture to allow this to happen.
Growl!!
- Wodrick
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Next line, No it doesn't look right, back ...............
Re: Friday Jokes
I have told her that now it is downstairs, had to take the legs off, it is not going upstairs again.
I seem to remember saying the opposite when we carried it upstairs about 10 years ago.
I was a bit younger then, not the 76 I am now.
Tiled dining tables are quite pretty but very heavy.
She can now put the photographs/pictures back on the stairs wall.
I seem to remember saying the opposite when we carried it upstairs about 10 years ago.
I was a bit younger then, not the 76 I am now.
Tiled dining tables are quite pretty but very heavy.
She can now put the photographs/pictures back on the stairs wall.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5977
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER