Friday Jokes

[PHXPhlyer]

https://nextdoor.com/p/rZRMn4BWqCBK?utm ... 7323562310

PP

[ricardian]

Oh dear, this Ffrenchman used the wrong sort of matches

[llondel]

Oh dear, this Ffrenchman used the wrong sort of matches

He can't even go on strike, because that won't work either.

[ricardian]

Seen on another site:

On the topic of ants.
1. 5 ants + 5 ants = tenants.
2. To bring an ant from another country into your country = important.
3. Ant that goes to school = brilliant.
4. Ant seeking employment = applicant.
5. Spy ant = informant.
6. Very small ant = infant.
7. Ant with a gun = militant.
8. Ant that is fat = abundant.
9. Proud ant = arrogant.
10. Ant that is cruel & oppressive = tyrant.
11. Ant that is friendly & nice = coolant.
12. Ant that changed its ways, from evil to good = repentant.
13. Ant that accumulated food in summer = abundant.
14. Ant that does not like change = reluctant.
15. Ant that keeps accurate financial records = accountant.
16, Ant living in rented accommodation = occupant.
17. Large ant = elephant.
18. The very best ant = excellent.
19. Very large ant = giant.
20. An important ant = significant.
21. A sarcastic ant = mordant.
22. A very fast ant = instant.
23. A loud-mouthed ant = rant.
24. An ant that does not move much = constant.
25. A filthy ant = pollutant.
26. An ant that you dislike = irritant.

[unifoxos]

27 A vegetable = plant
28 Not very much = scant
29 Free money = grant
30 Religious ravings = cant
31 A heavy breath = pant

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

18. Nope
32. Weird ant = deviant
33. Power-hungry clerical ant = antidisestablishmentarianist

[Woody]

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

34. Almost human ant = anthropoid

[Smeagol]

35. ant attending religious service - communicant

[PHXPhlyer]

36. Ant drying something - desiccant

PP

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

37. Ant singing falsetto = descant

[Pinky the pilot]

An aged Ant- Antique

[Woody]

[Ex-Ascot]

Another one.

[Woody]

Oh dear, this Ffrenchman used the wrong sort of matches

Change of heart

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-68256029

[Karearea]

Oh dear, this Ffrenchman used the wrong sort of matches

Change of heart

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-68256029

Glad he hadn't destroyed it in a fit of pique...

[Hydromet]

426201134_3671808263147807_1360808383804587142_n.jpg (34.39 KiB) Viewed 420 times

[bob2s]

[ricardian]

After the ant comes the cat:

Anselm's cat is an authoritative cat
Barabas's cat was blooming lucky
Bathsheba's cat was a bathtime cat
Caiphas's cat was a crafty old cat
Cardinal Ratzinger's cat was a reactionary cat.
Christ's cat was a charismatic cat
Elijah's cat was equininely elevated
Goliath's cat was a gigantic cat
Judas's cat was a judgemental cat
Mammon's cat is a Machiavellian cat
Mary's cat is a Magnifi-cat
Moses' cat was a meandering cat
Pilate's cat was a pontificating cat
Potiphah's wife's cat was predatory
Samuel's cat was a summoned cat
Saul's cat was a suspicious cat
Schrodinger's cat is a spiritual cat
Solomon's cat was a strong cat
Spiritualist's cats are seldom seen
The (PCC) Secretary's cat is a Superior cat
The ***ic cat is an Advocat
The Alto's cat is an awesome cat
The Angel's cat is an artistic cat
The Anglican cat is an ambiguous cat
The Archbishop's cat is an ambidextrous cat
The Archdeacon's cat is an ambitious cat
The Baritone's cat is a bald cat
The basilica’s cat is a bombastic cat
The Bass's cat is a bashful cat
The BFBS cat was a biblical cat
The Bellringer's cat is a bombastic cat
The Bishop's cat is a born-again cat
The campanile cat is a campanologist
The cathedral cat is a charismatic cat
The Chaplain's cat is a chattering cat
The chorister's cat is a caterwauling cat
The chorister's cat is a cosy cat
The CMS cat was a churchmen's cat
The compositor's cat is a copycat

The Corinthian cat was a corrupt cat
The Counsellor's cat is a completely contextual cat (it thinks)
The CU cat was a converted cat
The Curate's cat is a catholic cat
The curate's cat is a charismatic cat
The Curate's Cat is a contraversial cat
The Curate's cat is a curious cat
The Deaconness's cat is a dolly-bird cat
The Deacon's cat is a dogsbody cat
The Dean's cat is a Dominican cat
The Disciples' cat was a duodecimal cat
The Ecumenist's cat is an ecumenical cat
The ECUSA cat is an equivocal cat
The effective cat ate The church mouse
The Episcopal cat is an eccentric cat
The evangelical cat is an energetic cat
The evensong cat is an even tempered cat!
The Episcopal cat is an ecclesiastical cat
The Episcopal cat is an educated cat
The Episcopal cat is an energetic cat
The Episcopal cat is an exhibitionist cat
The Episcopal cat is an Elipandian Cat
The eschatological cat is an ex cat
The Friar's cat is a Franciscan cat
The Gentiles' cat is a gnostic cat
The hadji cat is an holy cat
The Hebrew cat is an holistic cat
The Hittite cat is a hooligan
The Iconoclast's cat is ingenious
The Ignatian cat is an iconoclastic cat
The Jesuit's cat is a jaw breaker
The Jesuit's cat is a juggling cat
The Kelham cat is a knowledgeable cat
The Kingdom's cat is a knowing cat
The Lambeth cat is a Laudian cat
The Layman's cat is a lugrubious cat
The liturgical cat is a literary cat
The Major's cat is a militaristic cat
The Metropolitan's cat is a monumental cat

The minster cat is mummified
The Mirfield cat is a marvellous cat
The Mirfield cat is a meritorious cat
The Missionary's cat was minced
The Mormon's cat is a mid-west cat
The New Day Adventist cat is neutered
The Nun's cat is a neophyte cat
The Oratory cat is an orderly cat
The Ordained cat is an obstinate cat
The Ordained cat is an open-minded cat
The ordinand's cat is an omniscient cat
The organist's cat is an oratorical cat
The organist's cat is 'orrible
The Orthodox cat is an obstinate cat
The Orthodox cat is an oriental cat
The Padre's cat is a provident cat
The Pope's cat is a pontificating cat.
The preacher's cat is a pedagogical cat
The presbyterian cat is a peculiar cat
The printer's cat is a paginated cat
The Quaker's cat is a quiet cat
The quire cat is a quality cat
The Rastafarian cat is a righteous cat
The Rector's cat is a residential cat
The Sacristan's cat is a silver tabby
The Samaritan's cat is a sociable cat
The sanctuary cat is a secretive cat
The Sarum cat is a sacrilegious cat
The Satanist's cat is a sacrificial cat
The Satanist's cat is a surreptitious cat
The SCM cat was a social cat
The sinner's cat is a scared cat
The soprano's cat is a screeching cat
The soprano's cat is a superior cat
The Spiritualist cat is a seancic cat
The Suffragan's cat is a second-in-command cat
The Temperance cat is a teetotalitarian cat
The Tenor's cat is a tiddlypom cat
The Tower cat is a tintinabulatory cat

The Treasurer's cat is a thrifty cat
The triforium cat is a terrified cat
The Trinitarian cat is a tripartite cat
The Undertaker's cat is an underground cat
The United Reformed cat is an unconforming cat
The Vatican cat is a valuable cat
The Verger's cat is a venturesome cat
The vicar's cat is a venerable cat
The Wee Free cat is a wicked cat
The Wesleys' cat was a wandering cat
The Wickhamist cat is a worrying cat
The Xavierian cat is a xenophilic cat
The Yahwist cat is a yiddish cat
The Zen Buddist's cat is a zany cat
The Zionist cat is a zealous cat

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

39. This ant is ready for them = ant....icipation