Friday Jokes

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Hardly surprising - he lost himself

[Hydromet]

One Saturday morning Mrs 1D C and I were going away for the day and we left home at 0700 and the next thing we arrived in the company car park. Mrs 1DC said I realised what was happening 20 minutes ago but I didn't say anything because I just wanted to see if you were actually going to do it!!

This is what happens when the car navigates itself out of force of habit.

[G-CPTN]

I think that 'habit' took over and instead of a 'day out' they drove to work as usual, ending up in the carpark.

[Ex-Ascot]

I have read a couple of incident reports where an airline pilot woke up to discover he was the only one awake on the flight deck.
Google "Both pilots asleep", or don't, if you are of a nervous disposition.

Not to try to better this but I have had 4 asleep on the flight deck.

[Ex-Ascot]

Sunset.

[Rossian]

......when I was holding on a Shack squadron in 19 hundred and frozen to death, on one night flight droning over the Moray Firth (at 1000 ft)I noticed that all of the back end crew were dozing. I carefully slipped behind the curtain into the "flight deck" and as my eyes adjusted to the dark I noticed that both pilots were asleep as well. I tapped the captain on the bone dome and as he wakened I said that now HE was awake that made two of us. Expletives deleted he looked back down the fuselage deleted more expletives and told me to go back down and kick everyone awake and put the galley boiler on and make coffee for 12. Having delivered his homily we landed shortly thereafter. And,no, we were not on autopilot! I learned about flying from that.

The Ancient Mariner

[Boac]

Gulp! We nearly didn't have a Rossian to play with.

[tango15]

......when I was holding on a Shack squadron in 19 hundred and frozen to death, on one night flight droning over the Moray Firth (at 1000 ft)I noticed that all of the back end crew were dozing. I carefully slipped behind the curtain into the "flight deck" and as my eyes adjusted to the dark I noticed that both pilots were asleep as well. I tapped the captain on the bone dome and as he wakened I said that now HE was awake that made two of us. Expletives deleted he looked back down the fuselage deleted more expletives and told me to go back down and kick everyone awake and put the galley boiler on and make coffee for 12. Having delivered his homily we landed shortly thereafter. And,no, we were not on autopilot! I learned about flying from that.

The Ancient Mariner

I'm amazed that anyone could fall asleep in a Shack, with all that noise, or was it the drone of the Griffons and their contra-rotating props that sent everyone to sleep?

[Smeagol]

I'm amazed that anyone could fall asleep in a Shack, with all that noise, or was it the drone of the Griffons and their contra-rotating props that sent everyone to sleep?
[/quote]

I have managed to 'nod off' when a passenger in a Bell 212 helicopter flying from an offshore platform back to Qatar, despite the noise, the temperature and the almost 100% humidity. Maybe the last two were the reason!

[FD2]

I'm amazed that anyone could fall asleep in a Shack, with all that noise, or was it the drone of the Griffons and their contra-rotating props that sent everyone to sleep?

I have managed to 'nod off' when a passenger in a Bell 212 helicopter flying from an offshore platform back to Qatar, despite the noise, the temperature and the almost 100% humidity. Maybe the last two were the reason!
[/quote]

You may well have noticed the pilot's heads nodding from time to time Smeagol. Sometimes droning along for ages in a goonsuit in an S61 with the cockpit too hot and no proper means of ventilation (open a sliding window and get deafened) it was hard not to nod off. No autopilot facilities in those aircraft either! Sleeping by both pilots was said to have occurred...

Then there was the young co-pilot who had been burning the candle at both ends nodded off during an early morning flight in the Southern North Sea - the problem was he was flying with the Chief Pilot at the time!

[probes]

The other day I woke up in a panic, thinking that I was late for work. Fortunately, I soon realised that I was already at work.

Been there, done that !

Interesting. Given the title of the forum.

[PHXPhlyer]

Interesting. Given the title of the forum.

Just depends on whom the joke is on.

PP

[ricardian]

I lived & worked in Scarborough in the 1980s and in the 1990s I moved to live & work in Cheltenham. A few years later a colleague & I made a work trip from Cheltenham back to Scarborough for a few days, staying in an hotel. One day I found myself leaving work with my colleague in our hire care and arriving back at my old house in Scarborough, only realising what I'd done when I noticed the new owner of the house was mowing "my" lawn; my colleague said that he thought that I knew a short cut or was about to visit a friend when I deviated from our usual route back to our hotel.

[ricardian]

[probes]

Interesting. Given the title of the forum.

Just depends on whom the joke is on.

PP

hmmm... thought on what the joker is on ... well, travelling, and in what capacity?

[ricardian]

One of my favourite scientific discoveries in recent years is that amongst domesticated animals, dogs can recognise the difference between themselves and human beings, but cats think that the humans who live them are just completely incompetent cats.

[Karearea]

One Saturday morning Mrs 1D C and I were going away for the day and we left home at 0700 and the next thing we arrived in the company car park. Mrs 1DC said I realised what was happening 20 minutes ago but I didn't say anything because I just wanted to see if you were actually going to do it!!

This is what happens when the car navigates itself out of force of habit.

Recently I had a tour of the new premises of a local enterprise.
Yesterday I had to pay an account to said enterprise.
Went faithfully to their former location.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Comment on an article about the evolutionary diet of humans, whether meat-eating or vegan.

"There are no cave paintings of salads"

[OFSO]

I have just been told there is "scientific evidence" that cats recognise their own names (we give them). This doesn't mean, as any cat 'owner' will confirm, that cats can be bothered responding to them.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Dogs will respond to any name used by the owner. My maternal grandfather used to deliberately use different names with every call.