Friday Jokes

[CharlieOneSix]

No neither of us get that one.

spoonerism......loving shepherd v shoving leopard....

[Opsboi]

No neither of us get that one.

Spooner would have said 'shoving leopard'...

[ricardian]

The truth, as so many of us will attest....
In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Rank and File. And they spoke amongst themselves, saying, ''It is a crock of sh1t, and it stinketh.''
And the Corporals went unto their Sergeants and said, ''It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof.''
And the Sergeants went unto their SWO, saying, ''It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide it.''
And the SWO went unto the Adjutant, saying, ''It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.''
And the Adjutant spoke amongst his fellows, agreeing, ''It contains that which aids growth, and it is very strong.''
And the Officers went unto their 2 i/c, saying unto him, ''It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.''
And the 2 i/c went unto his CO, saying unto him, ''This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the Station, with powerful effects.''
And the CO looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is how Sh1t Happens..

[ricardian]

As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I remind myself that you can't always trust Google maps.

[Woody]

[ricardian]

Cats have a long history of annoying the human race

[ricardian]

Cats can be SO over dramatic at times!

[ricardian]

I scared some Jehovah's Witnesses today by going to the door stark naked. I'm not sure what scared them more, me being naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.

[Karearea]

You did not forget why you walked into the room.

You walked in on an alien, and he erased your mind so he could escape!

[Karearea]

To all the people who said I'd never amount to anything because of my procrastination:

just you wait.

[G-CPTN]

[Woody]

[ricardian]

Husband:

When I die, I'd like to die making love.

Wife:

At least we know it'll be quick.

[Ex-Ascot]

Glenn Bradley, Head of Flight Operations and the UK Civil Aviation Authority, said: 'Aviation is one of the safest forms of air travel'.

[Boac]

You can see why he got the job..................

[Woody]

Campaign Against Aviation

[bob2s]

I had a question about what our parents did before they had access to the Internet. I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

[Woody]

Just been to see Benny from maintenance in hospital. He was putting up one of those boards that tell you have many days since the last accident and it fell on him.

[FD2]

All pilots take note!

Flying on Empty.jpg (37.23 KiB) Viewed 152 times

[Ex-Ascot]

Roger.