Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Husband: This newspaper's half the size that it used to be!
Wife: Yes, dear. They used to publish both sides of a story.

[ricardian]

All pilots take note!
Flying on Empty.jpg

So there are aircraft that continue to fly on empty fuel tanks? Do tell...

[PHXPhlyer]

All pilots take note!
Flying on Empty.jpg

So there are aircraft that continue to fly on empty fuel tanks? Do tell...

Factual reporting for once!

PP

[ricardian]

An airline has revealed that British holidaymakers drank all the booze on a 4-hour flight to Turkey in just 25 minutes - a much needed post-Brexit boost to national pride.

[Boac]

Ah! These SAGA holidays...............

[Woody]

[Woody]

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Could be worse...
If they landed in....

LA, no one would notice
NY, no one would care
DC, they'd immediately be denigrated as a Trumpist Conspiracy Theory
Kherson, they'd be targetted by Russian artillery
Tehran, they'd be beaten to death for not wearing a hijab
Mumbai, they'd be run over by 17 different vehicles in their first (and last) 10 seconds
Shanghai, they'd be put to work 16 hours a day building iPhones.

[Woody]

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.
I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work.
She hung up.

[ricardian]

Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and Alexander the Great have in common?
A: Same middle name.

[ricardian]

Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Husband: Can we please change the subject?
Wife: Certainly. More chores need to be done by you around the house.

[bob2s]

My town had a very bad storm last week and my neighbour lost his roof, and the poor guy has no insurance, I am starting a go fund me page to raise some
dollars so I can go to Hawaii for a few weeks as he is about to start construction and I hate being around all that noise.

[Woody]

Stone Hinge

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Now Out!!

'Nuclear Weapons Design and Manufacture for Dummies'*

Coming Soon

'Cryptocoin Derivative Trading for Dummies'
'Brain Surgery for Dummies'
'Hegelian Philosophy for Dummies'


*Initial print run already sold out in Iran. 2nd edition in print at our press in Tel Aviv.

[Karearea]

Meme:

One disorienting thing about getting
older that nobody tells you about is
how weird it feels to get a really
passionate, extremely wrong lecture
from a much younger person about
verifiable historical events you can
personally remember pretty well

[jimtherev]

Meme:

One disorienting thing about getting
older that nobody tells you about is
how weird it feels to get a really
passionate, extremely wrong lecture
from a much younger person about
verifiable historical events you can
personally remember pretty well

Yup. I'm still embarrassed to recall #2 son loudly proclaiming that German extermination camps didn't happen. Unfortunately for him, he said it to me dad.
Dad very quietly took him outside and told him that he had been on Montgomery's staff, and present when Monty inspected Belsen...

[Pinky the pilot]

Dad very quietly took him outside and told him that he had been on Montgomery's staff, and present when Monty inspected Belsen...

I suspect that things would have gone very quiet thereafter.

[CharlieOneSix]

[PHXPhlyer]

I don't suppose that the prosecution could just play this at each of his trials.

PP

[unifoxos]

..so that listening to the musical accompaniment would addle the brains of the defence team?