Friday Jokes

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Hydromet
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9761 Post by Hydromet » Thu May 18, 2023 6:42 am

347624244_901765340929478_5545336164842908640_n.jpg

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llondel
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9762 Post by llondel » Thu May 18, 2023 3:36 pm

Buster!

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Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9763 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Thu May 18, 2023 10:29 pm

"Do you do any dangerous sports?"
"Sometimes I disagree with the wife"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9764 Post by ricardian » Fri May 19, 2023 9:47 am

Man: "I didn't have time to jog this morning."
Man's friend: "You say that every day!"
Man: "Yes, I know. It's a running joke."
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9765 Post by ricardian » Fri May 19, 2023 10:24 am

Do songbirds get annoyed at hummingbirds for not knowing the words?
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9766 Post by Ex-Ascot » Fri May 19, 2023 12:06 pm

I like the photo of the guy in the bus.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9767 Post by ricardian » Sun May 21, 2023 11:55 am

It's yet another hot, sticky day so I've removed all my clothes and opened the windows.
I feel so much better now but the other people on the bus don't seem so pleased.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9768 Post by Woody » Mon May 22, 2023 10:55 am

The manager of John o’Groats United football team has resigned after his team lost to Lands End FC.
He said he’d taken them as far as he could go.
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9769 Post by Hydromet » Mon May 22, 2023 11:03 am

347229936_278762801163942_3375705124007599197_n.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9770 Post by Woody » Mon May 22, 2023 12:56 pm

Image
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9771 Post by ricardian » Mon May 22, 2023 2:30 pm

SSPCA: "What on earth were you thinking when you did that?"
Man: "But releasing birds at a wedding is so romantic."
SSPCA: "Yes, but you released ostriches!"
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9772 Post by Woody » Tue May 23, 2023 11:46 am

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9773 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue May 23, 2023 11:54 am

For you country folk.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9774 Post by ricardian » Tue May 23, 2023 12:16 pm

What an immense relief it is when you realise that the weird house noises that you hear are just ghosts and not something that you can't afford to fix.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9775 Post by OFSO » Tue May 23, 2023 12:48 pm

Nothing in the Teddington flat, but the villa in Spain is well haunted...

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9776 Post by FD2 » Tue May 23, 2023 7:32 pm

Harris Funeral.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9777 Post by FD2 » Tue May 23, 2023 8:21 pm

Just read he's already ashes - should be scattered at nearest sewage works.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9778 Post by Ex-Ascot » Wed May 24, 2023 6:53 am

Sorry FD2 but Bots doesn't get that. Guess that it is something sick?
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9779 Post by Wodrick » Wed May 24, 2023 7:50 am

Legs *ExA* look at legs.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9780 Post by CharlieOneSix » Wed May 24, 2023 7:57 am

It refers to one of Harris's better known songs - on Youtube if you search but I'm not going to give that dreadful man air time......
I'm Jake the Peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my extra leg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
Wherever I go through rain and snow
The people always let me know
There's Jake the peg, diddle-iddle-iddle-um
With his extra leg, diddle-iddle-iddle
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