Friday Jokes

[Slasher]

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

A man asked me for some change.
I told him I only carry bills.
He said "Give me one of those."
So I gave him my electricity bill.

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

[OFSO]

I don't see why that's here under jokes. I would have reacted the same way. Suspect most men would have....

[ExSp33db1rd]

Wish I had an old Impala.

[Sisemen]

Free access to a tame one

[ricardian]

Dubai bus crash: 17 dead after bus hits overhead sign

Local media said the vehicle swerved to avoid a height restriction sign, which then sliced through the roof.

You couldn't make it up!

[llondel]

A young couple were rushed into the maternity department to have their baby. The next day they were released from the hospital and took their newborn back home.

Over the next few years, they went through the usual joys of rearing their child up.

However, after three years, the wife started to think that their child looked very different to herself and her husband, so she decided to do a DNA test.

To her shock, she found out that the child was actually from completely different parents.

When her husband came home from work, she told him: "Darling, I have something very serious to tell you."

"What's wrong?" asked her husband.

"Well, according to DNA test results," she said, "this is not our child. Can you remember what happened the day we left the hospital?"

"Well don't you remember?" said her husband. "When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had a wet nappy and you said, George, go change the baby, I'll wait for you here."

[Slasher]

[ricardian]

I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I'll ever use single-ply toilet paper!

[Capetonian]

Dubai bus crash: 17 dead after bus hits overhead sign

Local media said the vehicle swerved to avoid a height restriction sign, which then sliced through the roof.

You couldn't make it up!

Ironic maybe but I'm not sure about posting this as a 'joke'. 17 innocent exploited slave workers from the Indian subcontinent died.

[Ex-Ascot]

Dubai bus crash: 17 dead after bus hits overhead sign

Local media said the vehicle swerved to avoid a height restriction sign, which then sliced through the roof.

You couldn't make it up!

Ironic maybe but I'm not sure about posting this as a 'joke'. 17 innocent exploited slave workers from the Indian subcontinent died.

Yes indeed Cape 100% with you there.

[ribrash]

My son and I had a lot of differences when he was about 16 or so, so he stormed out and I didn't see him for several years.

I was really pleasantly surprised though when he called me up one day and said, "Dad, I'm now a Marine."

When I met him again though, I was really disappointed to see him with long hair and a dress. "I thought you were a Marine !" I said... He said, "Of course, I'm now called Maureen."

[Woody]

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Didn’t realise things were so bad that she’d become an Evertonian

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

It's only downhill from here. She'll be found in the gutter a few months from now, yelling at passers-by and wearing a Manchester United shirt

[Slasher]

Might do this instead of sim instructing.

[Boac]

I gave them 1/2 a pint today.