Friday Jokes

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Pontius Navigator
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3681 Post by Pontius Navigator » Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:09 pm

I can't dance

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3682 Post by Alisoncc » Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:12 pm

There's still time to learn, PN.
Rev Mother Bene Gesserit.

Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)

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Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3683 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:13 pm



But Genesis are one of the very few rock groups to have written something in triple time


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Re: Friday Jokes

#3684 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:15 pm

I drove my mother-in-law to the hospital this afternoon. The doctor confirmed my worse fears:

It was nothing serious.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3685 Post by Rwy in Sight » Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:47 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 10:58 am
Pontius Navigator wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:46 am
Missing apostrophe there. I would like to add one with a permanent marker.
Yes first thing I noticed PN. Capt, in the northern hemisphere we were trained to read left to right and work one's way down the page. Maybe down under the training is different. Tits first and any information disregarded maybe. :-h
I thought the important bit was the part I highlighted.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3686 Post by ricardian » Sun Nov 10, 2019 12:37 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3687 Post by Woody » Sun Nov 10, 2019 1:55 pm

What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case.
Time for another beer.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3688 Post by OFSO » Sun Nov 10, 2019 4:43 pm

IMG-20191110-WA0001.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3689 Post by ricardian » Mon Nov 11, 2019 6:23 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3690 Post by ian16th » Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:49 am

Young 'uns do!
Baby Giraffe.jpg
Baby Giraffe.jpg (61.89 KiB) Viewed 548 times
Cynicism improves with age

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3691 Post by ricardian » Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:29 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3692 Post by ricardian » Tue Nov 12, 2019 12:06 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3693 Post by ricardian » Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:06 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3694 Post by Hydromet » Tue Nov 12, 2019 10:14 am

...or send your children a family photograph with them not in it.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3695 Post by ricardian » Wed Nov 13, 2019 1:03 pm

I never thought that money has different names:
In temple, synagogue or church, it's called donation.
In school, it's fee.
In marriage, it's called dowry.
In divorce, alimony.
When you owe someone, it's debt.
When you pay the government, it's tax.
In court, it's fines.
Civil servant retirees, it's pension.
Employer to workers, it's salary.
Master to subordinates, it's wages.
To children, it's allowance.
When you borrow from bank, it's loan.
When you offer after a good service. it's tips.
To kidnappers, it's ransom.
Illegally received in the name of service, it's bribe.
The question is, "when a husband gives to his wife, what do we call it???
ANSWER: Money given to your wife is called DUTY, and every man has to do his duty because wives are not DUTY FREE
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3696 Post by ricardian » Wed Nov 13, 2019 2:14 pm

Some new chocolate treats

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3697 Post by ricardian » Wed Nov 13, 2019 4:09 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3698 Post by ricardian » Wed Nov 13, 2019 4:15 pm

ian16th wrote:
Mon Nov 11, 2019 10:49 am
Young 'uns do!
Baby Giraffe.jpg
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Re: Friday Jokes

#3699 Post by ribrash » Wed Nov 13, 2019 5:32 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#3700 Post by ricardian » Wed Nov 13, 2019 5:45 pm

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