Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
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- Location: Gravity be the clue
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Re: Friday Jokes
I can't dance
Re: Friday Jokes
There's still time to learn, PN.
Rev Mother Bene Gesserit.
Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)
Sent from my PDP11/05 running RSX-11D via an ASR33 (TTY)
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 12986
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- Location: Great White North
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- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
But Genesis are one of the very few rock groups to have written something in triple time
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 12986
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- Location: Great White North
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- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
I drove my mother-in-law to the hospital this afternoon. The doctor confirmed my worse fears:
It was nothing serious.
It was nothing serious.
- Rwy in Sight
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 6740
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Re: Friday Jokes
I thought the important bit was the part I highlighted.Ex-Ascot wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2019 10:58 amYes first thing I noticed PN. Capt, in the northern hemisphere we were trained to read left to right and work one's way down the page. Maybe down under the training is different. Tits first and any information disregarded maybe.Pontius Navigator wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:46 amMissing apostrophe there. I would like to add one with a permanent marker.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
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- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
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- Age: 59
Re: Friday Jokes
What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case.
Time for another beer.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
...or send your children a family photograph with them not in it.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
I never thought that money has different names:
In temple, synagogue or church, it's called donation.
In school, it's fee.
In marriage, it's called dowry.
In divorce, alimony.
When you owe someone, it's debt.
When you pay the government, it's tax.
In court, it's fines.
Civil servant retirees, it's pension.
Employer to workers, it's salary.
Master to subordinates, it's wages.
To children, it's allowance.
When you borrow from bank, it's loan.
When you offer after a good service. it's tips.
To kidnappers, it's ransom.
Illegally received in the name of service, it's bribe.
The question is, "when a husband gives to his wife, what do we call it???
ANSWER: Money given to your wife is called DUTY, and every man has to do his duty because wives are not DUTY FREE
In temple, synagogue or church, it's called donation.
In school, it's fee.
In marriage, it's called dowry.
In divorce, alimony.
When you owe someone, it's debt.
When you pay the government, it's tax.
In court, it's fines.
Civil servant retirees, it's pension.
Employer to workers, it's salary.
Master to subordinates, it's wages.
To children, it's allowance.
When you borrow from bank, it's loan.
When you offer after a good service. it's tips.
To kidnappers, it's ransom.
Illegally received in the name of service, it's bribe.
The question is, "when a husband gives to his wife, what do we call it???
ANSWER: Money given to your wife is called DUTY, and every man has to do his duty because wives are not DUTY FREE
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Some new chocolate treats
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER