Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
On the subject of willy warmers, we were at a local market and someone was selling Santa Hat willy warmers. 3 sizes; small, medium and liar.
Re: Friday Jokes
One of the funnier ones I've seen in a while...
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Re: Friday Jokes
Yeah....one of thee washed up on the beach here 60 odd years ago
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Re: Friday Jokes
I don't go in for reality TV.....but...
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- Capt
- Posts: 979
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- Location: Morayshire Scotland
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Re: EA01.....7947
.....I did - in 1999. Roncesvalles monastery on the top of the Pyrenees to Santiago de Compostela.
The Ancient Mariner
The Ancient Mariner
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
A vicar entered his donkey in a race and it won. The vicar was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the next race, and it won again.
The local newspaper read: VICAR’S ASS OUT IN FRONT.
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the vicar not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local newspaper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES VICAR’S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the vicar to get rid of the donkey. The vicar decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
The local newspaper read: VICAR’S ASS OUT IN FRONT.
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the vicar not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local newspaper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES VICAR’S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the vicar to get rid of the donkey. The vicar decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5985
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
COVID 19 is probably the least of Canowindra's worries at present. They are copping serious floods.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5985
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Ask Joe.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5985
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Woody
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5985
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
One time I got sick and landed in hospital.There was this one young nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronising tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning?” or “Are we ready for a bath?” or “Are we hungry?”
I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside cabinet. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!
The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand and gulped it down, saying, “Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!”
The nurse fainted... I just smiled.
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!
I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside cabinet. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!
The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand and gulped it down, saying, “Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!”
The nurse fainted... I just smiled.
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5985
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
With today being St Andrew’s Day, our local hospital is serving haggis, neeps and tatties.
But only in the Burns Unit.
But only in the Burns Unit.