Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
From the Telegraph obituary :
Ron Roddan
Athletics coach who took Linford Christie in hand and guided the sprinter to Olympic gold
RON RODDAN, who has died aged 91,
Would that have been his lunch box?
Ron Roddan
Athletics coach who took Linford Christie in hand and guided the sprinter to Olympic gold
RON RODDAN, who has died aged 91,
Would that have been his lunch box?
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
My friend has just bought his wife a pony. She calls her Mayo and sometimes Mayo neighs.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes
"Wanna go to the Moscow May Day Parade?"
" No Tanks"
" No Tanks"
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Friend: What was that noise?
Me: My shirt fell.
Friend: It sounded a lot louder than that.
Me: I was in it at the time!
Me: My shirt fell.
Friend: It sounded a lot louder than that.
Me: I was in it at the time!
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Comment from an American visitor in the UK:
Good grief, they eat panda sausages in London! I was in a butcher's shop in south London and the lady in front of me bought two.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Make of this what you will Panda sausages
- Woody
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Re: Friday Jokes
When all else fails, read the instructions.
- Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Woody, I posted that not long ago on caption competition.
'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.
- Woody
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
"Machines will soon be as smart as people."
OK, but which people?
OK, but which people?
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- tango15
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Re: Friday Jokes
An eight-year-old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take Your Child to Work Day'.
As they were walking around the office, the young girl started crying and became very upset.
Her father asked what was wrong with her.
As the concerned staff gathered around, she sobbed loudly: "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"
Re: Friday Jokes
Not a joke, sorry for the thread drift.
Mrs H. used to drop our 4 yo daughter to the office sometimes late in the afternoon, and the girl who did out data entry and other stuff used to let her play on the computer, driving the plotter & so on. Fast forward nearly 20 years, daughter is working at her first job as a software engineer. Gets assigned to a project as client liaison. Data entry girl is now her opposite number working for the client.
You may now resume normal service.
Mrs H. used to drop our 4 yo daughter to the office sometimes late in the afternoon, and the girl who did out data entry and other stuff used to let her play on the computer, driving the plotter & so on. Fast forward nearly 20 years, daughter is working at her first job as a software engineer. Gets assigned to a project as client liaison. Data entry girl is now her opposite number working for the client.
You may now resume normal service.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
My friend kept a few goats on some land that her father owned. She tried to teach her goats to pee in just one particular spot by giving them treats whenever they peed in that spot. Alas, the goats now think that whenever they pee they get a treat; moreover, whenever they see my friend they pee!
Pavlov is laughing in his grave!
Pavlov is laughing in his grave!
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- OFSO
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
#9732 I have a clockwork wind-up toy that's smarter than Liz Truss.
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes
Two pounds of sausages, in a sarf lunnun accent, is "two panda sausages"
'Only Fools and Horses' has some quite good Sarf Lunnun accents.
Those born south of the river tend to speak with a very open mouth, so "ou" becomes "aa" or "ar"
Norf of the river, the mouth tends to be slightly pouted, so "ou" becomes "or"
For both, "th" tends to be pronounced as an "f".
"of" tends to become an "-a" added to the previous word.
End of electrocution lessun, as Del Boy would say
'Only Fools and Horses' has some quite good Sarf Lunnun accents.
Those born south of the river tend to speak with a very open mouth, so "ou" becomes "aa" or "ar"
Norf of the river, the mouth tends to be slightly pouted, so "ou" becomes "or"
For both, "th" tends to be pronounced as an "f".
"of" tends to become an "-a" added to the previous word.
End of electrocution lessun, as Del Boy would say
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 14669
- Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
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Re: Friday Jokes
Thanks Fox.
Google wasn't any help and Google TranslateTM doesn't account for accent (yet).
I still have use for British to American English translator.
PP
Google wasn't any help and Google TranslateTM doesn't account for accent (yet).
I still have use for British to American English translator.
PP