Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

The wind was rough
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!

[Opsboi]

The wind was rough
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!

Oh, the joy of being British and not having to learn that...

[tango15]

The wind was rough
And cold and blough.
She kept he hands inside her mough
And so, although
The wind did blough
And the weather was a cruel fough,
She gave a cough.
Please do not scough,
She coughed until her hat blough ough!

Oh, the joy of being British and not having to learn that...

Yes, I've thought about (and discussed it with) those whose first language is not English, often. I thought Russian was hard, but English is more harder

[bob2s]

I give you this in an attempt to prolong my life due to previous posts.

[PHXPhlyer]

I don't know if that will work.
I think the sanction might have already been put out.

PP

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?


A: Nobody knows. They never get the house.

[Ex-Ascot]

Just heard a true amusing story which I hadn't heard before.

Our Late HMQ's car broke down on the Sandringham estate. She walked to one of the cottages to phone Sandringham House to get rescued. She couldn't remember the number so phoned directory enquires. They wouldn't give her the number because it was ex-directory.

[Woody]

[Hydromet]

[ricardian]

Although George Wilkinson did very poorly at school and lacked many of the social graces, he turned out to be a gifted portrait artist and his fame grew very quickly. Soon people from all over the country were coming to him to have their portrait painted.
One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a gleaming new Rolls Royce, complete with chauffeur, and asked George if he would paint her in the nude. This was the first time anyone had made this request and it worried George. Then the lady told him that money was no object. In fact, she was willing to pay him up to £5,000. George thought for a while then asked the lady to wait while he conferred with Mildred, his wife. In a few minutes he returned and said to the lady, "Madam, it would be a pleasure to paint your portrait in the nude and the wife says that it's OK. However, I'll have to leave my socks on so that I have somewhere to wipe my brushes."

[FD2]

[Ex-Ascot]

Another one.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

There are 10 kinds of people,

those who are familiar with binary and those who aren't.

[llondel]

There are 10 types of people, those who know binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this joke to be in ternary.

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

We could keep this going till the Nth Of The World

[OFSO]

Today's radiology humour.
Little African girl operator moving me on the table: "I'm afraid I have very cold hands"
Me "I noticed"
Her "well I did try to warm them"
Me "let me tell you, you failed"
Her "Sorry"
Me "don't ever think of becoming a milkmaid"
Laughter all round !
Lovely staff.

[ricardian]

Some birds produce an oil that helps their feathers to retain more body heat. This fact generated the well-known saying "the oily bird gets the warm".

[ricardian]

Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Human: Well, all the reasons that I did have, have now been replaced by the fact that you can talk

[OFSO]

Another true story...
Three men waiting today outside the radiotherapy dept, each with a glass of water, filling their bladders. In turn each is taken for a scan and returns.
- askin the first, how is it, ?
- rising but need more water.
- how is yours we asked the second ?
- almost there but need a bit more water.
- to the third, how's yours old chap ?
- it's going DOWN. Yes really.
Stunned silence.
"What the hell are you doing with it ?!"

[PHXPhlyer]

Point taken!

PP