Friday Jokes

General Chit Chat
Message
Author
ribrash

Re: Friday Jokes

#4581 Post by ribrash » Fri Feb 07, 2020 5:36 pm

Image

ricardian
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5999
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
Location: 59°09N 002°38W
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#4582 Post by ricardian » Fri Feb 07, 2020 6:18 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

ribrash

Re: Friday Jokes

#4583 Post by ribrash » Fri Feb 07, 2020 7:38 pm

Image

User avatar
FD2
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5152
Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 10:11 pm
Location: New Zealand
Gender:
Age: 77

Re: Friday Jokes

#4584 Post by FD2 » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:35 pm

"I MISS BILL"

It doesn't matter what party you belong to, this is good natured political humour from a Canadian TV show,

where a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton... "Yep, that's right - I miss Bill Clinton"

He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President.

He plays the saxophone. He smoked weed. He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him... his wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," in honour of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honour Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to have sex in the Oval Office between the Bushes.

It's just been announced by Dell that a new computer will be introduced to the market in the near future. It's the Bill Clinton model featuring a 6 inch hard-drive and no memory.

Hydromet
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 4418
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:55 am
Location: SE Oz
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#4585 Post by Hydromet » Fri Feb 07, 2020 10:44 pm

One of those lines was borrowed from Shirley MacLaine, who said of her relationship with one-time Australian Foreign Affairs Minister Andrew Peacock...
In the book, entitled I'm Over All That And Other Confessions, she writes: "I thought as long as he's the Minister for Foreign Affairs, I might as well give him one he'll never forget."

Sisemen

Re: Friday Jokes

#4586 Post by Sisemen » Sat Feb 08, 2020 2:29 am

B70F0E79-4D13-45F7-9A1F-8E2C1295B00C.jpeg

User avatar
4mastacker
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5141
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:38 pm
Location: With the wife
Gender:
Age: 76

Re: Friday Jokes

#4587 Post by 4mastacker » Sat Feb 08, 2020 5:19 pm

Screenshot 2020-02-08 at 17.17.56.png
Screenshot 2020-02-08 at 17.17.56.png (467.97 KiB) Viewed 703 times
It's always my fault - SWMBO

ricardian
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5999
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
Location: 59°09N 002°38W
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#4588 Post by ricardian » Sat Feb 08, 2020 5:47 pm

Image
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

ricardian
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5999
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
Location: 59°09N 002°38W
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#4589 Post by ricardian » Sun Feb 09, 2020 12:56 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

Slasher

Re: Friday Jokes

#4590 Post by Slasher » Sun Feb 09, 2020 7:29 am

Women! :-w

E036D2BB-0598-4C71-B5F4-E0FA951C7D5C.jpeg

Nowadays I can use our kid as a convenient excuse! :)

Boac
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 17263
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:12 pm
Location: Here

Re: Friday Jokes

#4591 Post by Boac » Sun Feb 09, 2020 3:45 pm

Following Ric's toilet theme, this from Starbucks loo on the A34 this afternoon

IMG_20200209_115134.jpg
OK! What do I do with this No 2?

Pontius Navigator
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 14669
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 8:17 am
Location: Gravity be the clue
Gender:
Age: 81

Re: Friday Jokes

#4592 Post by Pontius Navigator » Sun Feb 09, 2020 3:48 pm

Different from a continental one perhaps. Use the plastic bucket?

Slasher

Re: Friday Jokes

#4593 Post by Slasher » Mon Feb 10, 2020 6:21 am

I laugh at things because they’re funny and I laugh at things because they’re true.

DD77904F-FD50-4506-AE5E-AFFF2DB2A768.jpeg
DD77904F-FD50-4506-AE5E-AFFF2DB2A768.jpeg (120.16 KiB) Viewed 481 times

The latter applies in this case.

Sisemen

Re: Friday Jokes

#4594 Post by Sisemen » Mon Feb 10, 2020 8:35 am

More like the introductory booklet rather than Vol 1.

Pinky the pilot
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 2530
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:20 am
Location: Back home, looking for a bad bottle of Red
Gender:
Age: 69

Re: Friday Jokes

#4595 Post by Pinky the pilot » Mon Feb 10, 2020 9:13 am

Someone far far wiser than I will ever be once said that any Man who says that he understands Women is either a liar or a damn fool!

That person was a Woman an' all!
You only live twice. Once when you're born. Once when you've looked death in the face.

ribrash

Re: Friday Jokes

#4596 Post by ribrash » Mon Feb 10, 2020 12:33 pm

Image

User avatar
llondel
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5946
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:17 am
Location: San Jose

Re: Friday Jokes

#4597 Post by llondel » Mon Feb 10, 2020 4:17 pm

trampoline.jpg

ricardian
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5999
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
Location: 59°09N 002°38W
Gender:
Age: 80

Re: Friday Jokes

#4598 Post by ricardian » Mon Feb 10, 2020 7:32 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

Hydromet
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 4418
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 8:55 am
Location: SE Oz
Gender:

Re: Friday Jokes

#4599 Post by Hydromet » Mon Feb 10, 2020 11:33 pm

Love that, Ricardian. I've pastor on to my local vicar.

User avatar
llondel
Chief Pilot
Chief Pilot
Posts: 5946
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:17 am
Location: San Jose

Re: Friday Jokes

#4600 Post by llondel » Tue Feb 11, 2020 3:50 am

I've got a chaplain on the floor here, laughing his cassocks off.

Post Reply