Friday Jokes

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

When they say "The Truth Hurts", they neglect to mention exactly who gets hurt

[probes]

Flying inverted (well at the pointy end at least? ):



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pictu ... me=3436299

[Alisoncc]

Anyone remember the United Airlines ad. The one with two "geese" having nookies whilst airborne, and the caption "Fly United".

Alison

[500N]

Anyone remember the United Airlines ad. The one with two "geese" having nookies whilst airborne,
and the caption "Fly United".
Alison

I still have the sticker, unused !

This one

[probes]

both married but not to each other

(from DWail)

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Jeremy Corbyn has been elected leader of the Labour Party in the UK

("Jezwecan" - shortest suicide note in electoral history? )

[Sisemen]

That's not a joke Fox - that's a feckin disaster.

[A Lutra Continua]

That's not a joke Fox - that's a feckin disaster.

For Labour more than anyone else, one thunks...

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

I've emigrated mate; it's hilarious!!!!

Still would have been funny whichever one of that rabble won it.

[Tall Bird]

Agreed here but there, don't speak too soon .....Trudeau jnr!

[Dushan]

Or Angry Tom

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Where's
Option D: None Of The Above
when you need it?

Trustworthiness of Politicians:
UK: 12%
Canada: 10%

Approx: Percentage of adult population with a mental illness inhibiting their ability to assess trustworthiness: 12%

[Tall Bird]

Have rather lost touch with the minutiae of Canadian politics. I gather Angry Tom has smartened himself up in many ways since the election was called. Anyhoo, he was the only leader who turned up at the funeral of my former MP and hero, Flora MacDonald. It was a nice surprise to see her in the credits of the Argo film.

Edit: Fox3, that reminds me of just one of my great aunt's comments: ....and these people have a vote? (said in the finest Lady Bracknell voice)

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Immediately following Jezzer's election



..and deleted almost immediately after

-via Order-order.com

"To lose one leadership election is unfortunate; to lose two looks like carelessness"

[Dushan]

I gather Angry Tom has smartened himself up in many ways since the election was called. )

Well for an NDP-er, maybe. Still a long way from being "smart". Just look at AA's signature....

[flynverted]

https://m.youtube.com/?reload=7&rdm=1p4 ... ZjCfie5Mv0

[flynverted]

Flying inverted (well at the pointy end at least? ):



http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/pictu ... me=3436299

Hate when y'all talk about me when I'm not around...

[OFSO]

A Harley-Davidson bike rider is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lions' cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her into the cage, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and smacks the lion square on the nose, with one hell of a punch.
Shocked and whimpering with pain, the lion releases the girl, and jumps back - and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who immediately thank him endlessly.

A news reporter standing nearby has stood and watched the whole event. The reporter rushes up, and addressing the H-D rider, says ... "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've ever seen a man do, in my whole life!"

The bike rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind the bars.
I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted like anyone else would."

The reporter says, "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and where were you riding to?'

The biker replied, "I'm an SAS soldier just returned from Afghanistan, and I was just heading off to a right-wing political party meeting!"

The journalist thanks him and leaves.

The following morning the biker picks up the paper and reads the screaming headlines on the front page:

"SAS SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH."

And that my friends, is exactly how the left-wing media report the news.

[Stoneboat]

Bill tried to cheer up Hillary this morning . . .by reminding her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected president
until after he had served 27 years in prison.

[Chuks]

I could have used that matrix to very good effect in round-table discussions of women's issues at Marlboro College, probably triggering multiple melt-downs on the spot.

Instead I was forced to rely on reason, stymied by such things as a feminist unwillingness/inability to define such common terms as "violence." The dictionaries were no help, since they "had been written by dead White men." No, almost everyone there just made stuff up, seemingly.

This gun-toting White dude would have been just the way to get across my basic point of view. Yes, he was making this up, but hey ... they started it!

We did have one evening that was meant to be a discussion of "Does main-stream pornography degrade womyn?" that came to a grinding halt when two of us wanted the presenter to first define "main-stream pornography." Okay, it used to be those magazines on the top shelf of the tobacco shop, the ones with the plain, brown wrappers hiding pictures of tired strippers with stars on their nipples, but today? We honestly had no idea what that is. Did she mean the stuff on the internet, all of it, or what?

This was a visiting wo-man from Brattleboro, some sort of expert (self-nominated) in her field, who had been laying down the troofs to her rapt audience, week after week, brushing off the odd query from me without much effort. Here, I think, she expected to simply tell us that porn did degrade womyn without much discussion about whether that was really so.

First, though, she was hit with a question she never saw coming, so that she sounded just as narrow-minded and uninformed as Jesse Helms, with her "Well, I think everyone here knows what I mean by that term; it's obvious!" Then we told her that we were not really informed consumers of, nor researchers into, "main-stream pornography" so that we really did need to be told what it is before we could decide whether or not this thing unknown to us really did this terrible thing or not.

Luckily for me, the other inquirer after truth was a young candidate for a sex change, so that it was not all one lonely, white, hetero wrinkly being awkward. After about ten minutes of floundering, there was one of those "My goodness! Look at the time!" and the recall of a pressing engagement elsewhere, when this miserable creature fled the field of combat in obvious disorder.