Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Nice greeting!

[Woody]

Ultimate recycling

[Boac]

This food tastes like...............

[OFSO]

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!' The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, Im blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, 'You say she's blonde?' 'I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!'

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. The pilot replied, "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne."

[G-CPTN]

[ricardian]

Name?

[ExSp33db1rd]

Hairy McLary ???

[Boac]

Donald?

[Pontius Navigator]

Boris, the hair gives it away

[ricardian]

Proof reading is a necessity
One for jimtherev

[Boac]

Is that organ music?

[G-CPTN]

Not heard that 'Pennies dropping' song for at least 70 years.

[Archer]

Did all members of the congregation join in?

[Stoneboat]

Is that organ music?

[ricardian]

A Scottish lassie, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her GP.
After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..."
"I know, I know," the GP said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it," she said. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."

[ricardian]

Not heard that 'Pennies dropping' song for at least 70 years.

When a 16 yr old RAF Boy Entrant at Cosford I was the organist at the PMUB chapel. For the 18 moths I was there in training I played for Sunday morning service & for afternoon Sunday School at which that little ditty was played & sung. Unbeknownst to me the PMUB padres (WgCdr Harcus and SqnLdr Gibson) put in a claim on my behalf for about 70 morning services and 70 Sunday school services which meant that on my final pay parade before leaving Cosford I got about £40 pounds more than anyone else.

[PHXPhlyer]

Well "Played", Ricardian

PP

[EA01]

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client .

"Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."


The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only

$5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million

... and I think she could be right."

Saul replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she?

You've just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"

The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary in bed together."

[ricardian]

Two clowns were getting divorced. The judge said that it was the worst custardy battle he had ever encountered

[ricardian]

Don't be a snitch!