Friday Jokes

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Pontius Navigator
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5741 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Sep 24, 2020 8:38 am

There is a film on one of the subscription channels The Death of Stalin. I enjoyed it. They don't speak Cod Russian but English working class accents. Once you have the characters sorted it really brought the situation to life. A comedy, well a black one at least.

Can you have black comedies any more?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5742 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Sep 24, 2020 8:50 am

There was an English man, a French man and an Algerian in a twin engined prop flying over the Alps. They lost an engine and began drifting down.

The pilot said they would have to lighten the load.

The Arab opened the door threw out all the luggage and said Allah be praised.

Still the plane descended.

The English man opened the door, shouted God Save the Queen and jumped out.

Still the plane descended.

Next, the French man opened the door, threw out the Arab and shouted Viva La France

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5743 Post by ricardian » Thu Sep 24, 2020 11:06 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5744 Post by ribrash » Thu Sep 24, 2020 11:25 am

This Government.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5745 Post by ricardian » Thu Sep 24, 2020 12:15 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5746 Post by llondel » Thu Sep 24, 2020 7:23 pm

ribrash wrote:
Thu Sep 24, 2020 11:25 am
This Government.
Shouldn't this one be in the sick Joke thread?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5747 Post by ribrash » Fri Sep 25, 2020 7:07 am

llondel wrote:
Thu Sep 24, 2020 7:23 pm
ribrash wrote:
Thu Sep 24, 2020 11:25 am
This Government.
Shouldn't this one be in the sick Joke thread?
+10 :-bd

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5748 Post by Magnus » Fri Sep 25, 2020 9:24 am

G-CPTN wrote:
Tue Sep 22, 2020 9:28 pm
ricardian wrote:
Tue Sep 22, 2020 9:19 pm
Different era, different meaning
She was probably an aficionado of Dickins, too.
Damn fine cider, I believe.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5749 Post by FD2 » Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:59 am

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5750 Post by ricardian » Fri Sep 25, 2020 2:14 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5751 Post by FD2 » Fri Sep 25, 2020 8:44 pm

PHOTO-2020-09-26-05-06-26.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5752 Post by barkingmad » Fri Sep 25, 2020 9:41 pm

One way of surviving the current World Madness is a contest like this;



Obviously university training works well... :ymsick:

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5753 Post by PHXPhlyer » Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:26 pm

I think this concept could be adapted to a Zoom meeting. :YMPARTY: :-bd :YMAPPLAUSE:
Any takers? :-? =))

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5754 Post by G-CPTN » Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:51 pm

PHXPhlyer wrote:
Fri Sep 25, 2020 10:26 pm
I think this concept could be adapted to a Zoom meeting.
There was a councillor who was criticised for drinking a glass of beer during a recent ZOOM meeting of Newcastle City Council.

I see no problem with his action - would he have been criticised for drinking a glass of wine (apart from by his fellow councillors)?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5755 Post by FD2 » Sat Sep 26, 2020 5:04 am


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Re: Friday Jokes

#5756 Post by Woody » Sat Sep 26, 2020 7:49 am

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5757 Post by Boac » Sat Sep 26, 2020 10:33 am

G-CPTN wrote:There was a councillor who was criticised for drinking a glass of beer during a recent ZOOM meeting of Newcastle City Council.
I assume, then, it wasn't Newcastle Brown?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5758 Post by ricardian » Sat Sep 26, 2020 10:38 am

Pontius Navigator wrote:
Thu Sep 24, 2020 8:38 am
There is a film on one of the subscription channels The Death of Stalin. I enjoyed it. They don't speak Cod Russian but English working class accents. Once you have the characters sorted it really brought the situation to life. A comedy, well a black one at least.
Can you have black comedies any more?
A bit like the BBC Radio 4 Extra's version of "The Little World of Don Camillo" a drama about the rivalry between Pepponi, a communist mayor, and Don Camillo, a priest in a postwar Italian town. No effort to "italianise" the accents but North of England accents instead
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5759 Post by Pontius Navigator » Sat Sep 26, 2020 10:39 am

Might have been a lager, poof drink up there?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5760 Post by ricardian » Sat Sep 26, 2020 10:49 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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