Well when you are already working flat out, it's hard to increase the quota, especially if someone else already nicked the wheels.Six areas recorded an increase in [car] thefts compared with the same period two years previously. These were: South Yorkshire, up 28 per cent; City of London, up 25 per cent; West Midlands, up 19 per cent; Surrey, up 12 per cent; Merseyside, up 4 per cent; and Greater Manchester, up 1 per cent.
Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Telegraph today:
- OFSO
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Re: Friday Jokes
To get out of the way for a while, Boris Johnson flies down to Africa where he addresses the natives. They all seem happy but he cannot avoid noticing how much wild bull excrement there is everywhere in the market square. He is led to the podium and starts his speech: "Britain is your friend! Britain wishes you well!"
The natives all jump up and down and shout N'Bonga! N'Bonga!
Encouraged by this he continues "We only wish your happiness, and will support you in everything. "
Cries of N'Bonga N'Bonga!
Boris continues "And you can believe me, for I am an honest and truthful man... "
Crowd goes wild, screaming and shouting N'Bonga! N'Bonga!
Pleased, he's led away from the podium. "Went very well" he says to the Chief. "Indeed yes" says the Chief "but please mind where you are treading and don't step in the N'Bonga... "
The natives all jump up and down and shout N'Bonga! N'Bonga!
Encouraged by this he continues "We only wish your happiness, and will support you in everything. "
Cries of N'Bonga N'Bonga!
Boris continues "And you can believe me, for I am an honest and truthful man... "
Crowd goes wild, screaming and shouting N'Bonga! N'Bonga!
Pleased, he's led away from the podium. "Went very well" he says to the Chief. "Indeed yes" says the Chief "but please mind where you are treading and don't step in the N'Bonga... "
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes
You're gonna need a bigger harvester!
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
Ok, so let me get this straight....the #1 movie in the country is Top gun, the #1 song is Kate Bush "Running up the Hill", and the USA is in a proxy war with Russia?.......So we're just like, "**** it, lets give 1986 another go then?"
Re: Friday Jokes
I've been prescribed some anti-gloating cream by the doctor.
Can't wait to rub it in.
Can't wait to rub it in.
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5989
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
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Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Station Padre
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Re: Friday Jokes
what a strange effect! Do you know what causes it?
- Opsboi
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Re: Friday Jokes
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes
It has been recently discovered that not all the eye's colour sensors (cones) actually detect colour. Instead the peripheral ones measure contrast, and the brain fills in the colour from prior scans. Within the grid squares you will note there are some apparently curved lines comprised of stones of similar contrast. These have been sized to appear the same width as the green grid lines. As you focus on one area of the image, the eye's peripheral cones then see the straight grid lines and the curved stone lines as being of similar contrast. The brain concludes that they are all lines, and memory recalls that lines are coloured green, so new curved green lines appear. They disappear when the eye's focus shifts to them, as the fovea's colour cones Do detect colour.
It's more obvious if you view the image in greyscale
A fine set of jokes this week from everyone, much amusement here - many thanks!
I finished 1986 by winning my Wings - a fine year!
It's more obvious if you view the image in greyscale
A fine set of jokes this week from everyone, much amusement here - many thanks!
I finished 1986 by winning my Wings - a fine year!