Friday Jokes

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Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9781 Post by Ex-Ascot » Wed May 24, 2023 8:16 am

Well it still had to be explained to me. Saw the extra legs but didn't know the song or who had sung it. Next.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9782 Post by G-CPTN » Wed May 24, 2023 9:24 am

Went to a Halloween party in Denmark (mainly American participants) in 1980s where one of the guests was 'Jake the Peg'.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9783 Post by llondel » Wed May 24, 2023 7:34 pm

BrayHill.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9784 Post by Boac » Wed May 24, 2023 7:37 pm

It's quite a tight one, I think. Best taken carefully.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9785 Post by Pontius Navigator » Wed May 24, 2023 7:51 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Wed May 24, 2023 6:53 am
Sorry FD2 but Bots doesn't get that. Guess that it is something sick?
Lucky you.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9786 Post by ricardian » Thu May 25, 2023 5:54 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9787 Post by ricardian » Thu May 25, 2023 6:00 pm

Woody wrote:
Mon May 22, 2023 12:56 pm
Image
I sent that to my old boss in the RAF and he replied:
It's horrid inside when that happens. I had a VC10 sim "die" on me slowly (I was Instructor) and the "crash" coincided with a very difficult final approach and therefore the crew carried on, oblivious, as part of the exercise, really fighting with the controls . It becomes so real to fly a sim, especially under pressure. When all the admin and books started to fall on the "flying" crew I tried to tell them to stop - to no avail! I started to laugh (and the engineer instr) which made things real for them just as its front hit the floor. It was very awkward climbing up the inside and open the door. When I managed it I could see a lake of hydraulic fluid all over and we were marooned for a while before we were all able to clamber down safely. What a mess in and outside. Never to be forgotten. Thanks for reviving that memory.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9788 Post by ricardian » Fri May 26, 2023 2:28 am

Captain Kirk: I just invented a thought-controlled air freshener.
Mr Spock: That sounds illogical.
Captain Kirk: It makes scents when you think about it.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9789 Post by G-CPTN » Fri May 26, 2023 5:09 am

A maintenance electrician from Cranfield Airport told me of a sudden total failure of everything on their simulator.
The 'crew' suffered shock (due to their perceived loss of the aircraft and passengers).

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9790 Post by FD2 » Fri May 26, 2023 5:39 am

There was a story years ago of a crew who had just sweated through a hard series of in flight failures and emergencies during LOFT training being offered a short relaxing break and coffee. Shortly afterwards the opaque 'cockpit' window slid open and the plastic cup was handed in. The very involved trainee thought he was cruising at several thousand feet - as the simulator was - and promptly fainted.

Then there was the John Wayne action movie The High and the Mighty - I think the one where he slaps his co-pilot Robert Stack around to ginger him up - and during filming someone walks across the top of the set. 'Someone's walked across my sky!'

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9791 Post by Ex-Ascot » Fri May 26, 2023 7:51 am

Yes, I have known of sims to 'crash' but never seen one.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9792 Post by tango15 » Sat May 27, 2023 8:53 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9793 Post by Woody » Sat May 27, 2023 5:47 pm

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9794 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Sat May 27, 2023 6:20 pm

Tottenham Hotspur Board of Directors' Manager Shortlist
(based on inability of job to damage reputation)

1. Rolf Harris died last week
2. putin busy in Ukraine
3. Satan under contract to putin in Ukraine
4. Tony Blair
5. Michael Barrymore
6. The Poop Emoji preferred candidate.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9795 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Sat May 27, 2023 10:56 pm


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Re: Friday Jokes

#9796 Post by ricardian » Mon May 29, 2023 5:41 am

My academic friend has combined a laxative and alphabet soup, he has called it "Letter Rip"
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9797 Post by ricardian » Mon May 29, 2023 11:13 am

Peter: Where are you John?
John: I'm just pulling out of Paddington.
Peter: I bet that made him drop his marmalade sandwich!
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9798 Post by Woody » Mon May 29, 2023 6:47 pm

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When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9799 Post by Hydromet » Mon May 29, 2023 11:03 pm

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9800 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue May 30, 2023 12:21 pm

Best of Faulty Towers bad service clips.

'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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