Friday Jokes

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FD2
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5581 Post by FD2 » Sun Aug 09, 2020 10:39 pm

Is there enough stone left up there on the mountain to encompass the mighty brain :^o , let alone the lower lip and comb over/quiff, pp? 8-} :ymdevil:

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5582 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:26 am

If a fifth was added, who would you nominate?

Cape Kennedy didn't stand the test of time. A recent Democrat could be said to have put up a black and not the beat about the bush, so did several Republicans.

I would nominate, if I had a vote, FDR.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5583 Post by ExSp33db1rd » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:55 am

I'd go along with FDR, he and Lincoln are the only ones I can remember, 5 years after they've gone !

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5584 Post by FD2 » Mon Aug 10, 2020 10:07 am

FDR for me too.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5585 Post by ricardian » Mon Aug 10, 2020 10:51 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5586 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Aug 10, 2020 11:55 am

Red toothpaste tubes are also dangerous in the dark. Don't keep Deep Heat by the wash basin.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5587 Post by OFSO » Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:20 pm

A tube of haemorrhoid cream in our bathroom is exactly the same shade of red as the tube of Boots 'deep heat'. The two tubes are not kept in the same cupboards !

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5588 Post by ricardian » Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:14 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5589 Post by ricardian » Tue Aug 11, 2020 4:06 am

A policeman was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car with the interior light brightly glowing so he carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. He sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the policeman walks up to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
Young man (lowering his window): "Uh, yes, officer?"
Policeman: "What are you doing?"
Young Man: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the policeman says: "And her, what is she doing?"
Young man: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover."
Now, the policeman is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night, in a Lover's Lane - and nothing untoward is happening!
Policeman: "What's your age, young man?"
Young man: "I'm 22, sir."
Policeman: "And her ... what's her age?"
Young man (looking at his watch): "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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Re: Friday Jokes

#5590 Post by ricardian » Tue Aug 11, 2020 4:13 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5591 Post by ricardian » Tue Aug 11, 2020 6:10 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5592 Post by Rwy in Sight » Wed Aug 12, 2020 6:51 am


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Re: Friday Jokes

#5593 Post by Woody » Wed Aug 12, 2020 4:42 pm

When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5594 Post by ricardian » Thu Aug 13, 2020 1:37 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5595 Post by llondel » Thu Aug 13, 2020 3:47 am

I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was too uncommon.

I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5596 Post by ricardian » Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:58 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5597 Post by ricardian » Thu Aug 13, 2020 7:46 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5598 Post by Boac » Thu Aug 13, 2020 7:53 pm

What about the bigger poos?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5599 Post by bob2s » Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:05 pm

Boac wrote:
Thu Aug 13, 2020 7:53 pm
What about the bigger poos?
You will have to lower those on a string.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#5600 Post by FD2 » Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:33 pm

bob2s wrote:
Thu Aug 13, 2020 10:05 pm
Boac wrote:
Thu Aug 13, 2020 7:53 pm
What about the bigger poos?
You will have to lower those on a string.
=))

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