Friday Jokes

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Ex-Ascot
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9221 Post by Ex-Ascot » Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm

OK for both of us we don't understand the yellow paint joke or this one about lesbians. Must be too much sand around.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9222 Post by Opsboi » Mon Nov 21, 2022 2:14 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm
we don't understand this one about lesbians.
He must have said "I want to watch"...

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9223 Post by k3k3 » Mon Nov 21, 2022 2:23 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm
OK for both of us we don't understand the yellow paint joke
It' s the name on the painters van, Epson, it could have been HP, Canon, Brother or any other make of computer printers that won't print anything if an ink tank runs out.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9224 Post by ribrash » Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:13 pm

Opsboi wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 2:14 pm
Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm
we don't understand this one about lesbians.
He must have said "I want to watch"...
I wanna watch. :-bd

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9225 Post by PHXPhlyer » Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:34 pm

Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm
OK for both of us we don't understand the yellow paint joke or this one about lesbians. Must be too much sand around.
:-o I was worried that I was the only one. #:-S :))

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9226 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Nov 21, 2022 6:26 pm

PHXPhlyer wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:34 pm
Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm
OK for both of us we don't understand the yellow paint joke or this one about lesbians. Must be too much sand around.
:-o I was worried that I was the only one. #:-S :))

PP
+1

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9227 Post by OFSO » Mon Nov 21, 2022 7:31 pm

+ 1

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9228 Post by Pontius Navigator » Mon Nov 21, 2022 7:34 pm

PHXPhlyer wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 3:34 pm
Ex-Ascot wrote:
Mon Nov 21, 2022 1:59 pm
OK for both of us we don't understand the yellow paint joke or this one about lesbians. Must be too much sand around.
:-o I was worried that I was the only one. #:-S :))

PP
And another+1

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9229 Post by 1DC » Mon Nov 21, 2022 10:49 pm

Me too!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9230 Post by ExSp33db1rd » Mon Nov 21, 2022 11:01 pm

Ditto.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9231 Post by llondel » Mon Nov 21, 2022 11:56 pm

Sometimes you have to imagine the phrase as said in the local accent. A bit like "twerk" being where a Yorkshireman goes to earn a crust.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9232 Post by Pinky the pilot » Tue Nov 22, 2022 10:28 am

And another+1
Likewise.

But regarding the actual subject...I wouldn't!!! [-X
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9233 Post by ribrash » Tue Nov 22, 2022 10:54 am

Yorkshire lad goes into chemists and says
"D,ya have any arse cream ?"
Aye lad says the chemist
"We,ve got magnums,choc ices and cornetto,s"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9234 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Tue Nov 22, 2022 12:37 pm

Swede goes into a chemist's.

"I vant to buy zom anti-perzperent"
"Bal, or aerzol?"
"No, I vant it vor my armpits"

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9235 Post by ricardian » Wed Nov 23, 2022 4:20 am

I was born male and identify as male, but according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding I am actually a family of four.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9236 Post by Archer » Wed Nov 23, 2022 10:24 am

An old pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’

He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca’s, Nieuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?’

She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’

He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9237 Post by ricardian » Thu Nov 24, 2022 2:39 pm

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9238 Post by ricardian » Fri Nov 25, 2022 12:08 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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visitstronsay.com
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9239 Post by ricardian » Fri Nov 25, 2022 12:22 am

Top 10 advantages of growing old:
10 Your clothes have come back in fashion - twice.
9 There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
8 Plenty of time to catch up on reading - in the bathroom.
7 In any hostage situation you'll probably be released first.
6 You repeat yourself without knowing it.
5 You are allowed to take a nap before getting ready for bed.
4 You've made lots of good memories even if you cannot remember them.
3 You repeat yourself without knowing it.
2 Growing old is unavoidable, growing up is optional.
1 It's better than the alternative.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9240 Post by ricardian » Sat Nov 26, 2022 8:17 am

Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
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visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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