Friday Jokes

[ribrash]

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.
All the slides were just pictures of me.

[Pontius Navigator]

I bought some shoes once in Germany, I think made in the DDR, which had the words RIGHT and LEFT moulded into the sole. They were made of "rubber" and ended up in the bin a week later.

I bought some DDR 'agricultural quality' tyres in Gloucester market like that.

I had a new car on order, held up because of strike action! The car I was trading in and had a price agreed for, had tyres so bad, I simply was forced into buying 2.
So I went for the cheapest possible, and found these DDR things.

By the time my strike delayed new car was delivered, the DDR tyres were close to the legal limit!

Less than 2 weeks they lasted.

Ian, if fitted to a Trabant, for which they were designed, they would have lasted for the life of the car.

[Pontius Navigator]

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.
All the slides were just pictures of me.

Not nice, said Mrs PN when she stopped shaking and dried her eyes.

[ian16th]

I bought some shoes once in Germany, I think made in the DDR, which had the words RIGHT and LEFT moulded into the sole. They were made of "rubber" and ended up in the bin a week later.

I bought some DDR 'agricultural quality' tyres in Gloucester market like that.

I had a new car on order, held up because of strike action! The car I was trading in and had a price agreed for, had tyres so bad, I simply was forced into buying 2.
So I went for the cheapest possible, and found these DDR things.

By the time my strike delayed new car was delivered, the DDR tyres were close to the legal limit!

Less than 2 weeks they lasted.

Ian, if fitted to a Trabant, for which they were designed, they would have lasted for the life of the car.

But my car was a Sunbeam Imp Sport, that I drove shall we say? 'Enthusiastically'.

[PHXPhlyer]

I once had a "challenged" and challenging student who had trouble with left and right.
I told him to make a left turn and he released the controls and held his hands up, palms out. He noted that the thumb and index finger of the left hand formed an "L". So that was left.
I held up my hands, palms in, and noted that the thumb and index finger formed an "L".
He could remember to hold his hands palms out but couldn't remember left from right.
This was about the time that I informed the powers that be that I would never endorse him for solo flight.
Fittingly, he threw up on me the day that I gave my notice.
Because he was from a minority, he could not be dropped from the program. They were able to get rid of him after he assaulted his next instructor.

PP

[llondel]

cured.jpg (52.17 KiB) Viewed 584 times

[Opsboi]

Cheers, llondel - first joke since Easter Sunday!

With two honourable exceptions; urinal, bishop & actress

Now there's a Frankie Howerd sketch...

[llondel]

I'm sure someone ticked something off a bucket list with this headline.

x-rays.png (52.63 KiB) Viewed 558 times

[ExSp33db1rd]

.....had the words RIGHT and LEFT moulded into the sole.

How were you supposed to read them sole down on the ground, and unlike gloves, didn't the slightly different shape for each foot give you a clue ? ( thinks - the present Crocs could give you a problem, correct footwise )

A women in the sailing club wore deck shoes of different colours, bright red for the left foot and bright green for the right, and in view of the slightly different shape for each foot there was little chance of getting them on the wrong foot. Clever.

[Pontius Navigator]

So, after a struggle teacher got little Jimmy's boots on.
Miss, there're on the wrong feet.
She pulled them off and put them on again.
Miss, there're ma brother's boots.
She pulled them off and said where's your boots.
Miss, ma mum makes me wear them.
She struggled and put the boots on again. Jimmy where's your gloves?
In ma boots Miss.

Her case comes up next Tuesday.

[ricardian]

Oldies

[G-CPTN]

Oldies

In the current 'woke' climate, such 'humour' as is depicted in the attached so-called joke is oldist and sexist and therefore deemed unacceptable.

[Wodrick]

Made me smile

[Boac]

Yes - I was wokely offended.

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

[OFSO]

Got it at last!

[Boac]

Is it OK for clots?

[Archer]

They have not complained.

[OFSO]

But things are looking black..

[ricardian]

Oldies and goodies

[ricardian]

Evil!