Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Calm in Egypt

[Ex-Ascot]

How thoughtful

OR:

After disastrous sales Nutmeg tries to get her new book off to a flying start.

[ricardian]

Growing old...

[ricardian]

Things are not always what they seem to be

[Woody]

[Pontius Navigator]

Woody, are you sure, quite sure?,

[Boac]

PN - did you typeset the poster?

[ricardian]

Does it?

[Woody]

[FD2]

[Ex-Ascot]

World leaders and their dogs.

[EA01]

Fabulous Ex!

[FD2]

It's even better with sound:

[FD2]

Dom's revenge.jpg (29.3 KiB) Viewed 660 times

[llondel]

Waiting between Bishop Stortford and Harlow, to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along the M11 motorway at 11MPH so he says to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seats and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...eleven miles an hour!" ....the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that M11 is the road number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We've just come off the A120."

[ribrash]

I saw my dwarf neighbour standing at the bus stop this morning so I stopped him.
I said, "Jump in! I'll give you a lift!"

"F*ck off!" he said.

And I just thought to myself, "What an ungrateful person he is." So I zipped up my backpack and kept on walking.

[ricardian]

Tech

[Pontius Navigator]

Oh my G

[Pontius Navigator]

From the Telegraph

I know the Department of Health will be looking into to understand how that was recorded, how it got out of the system. It’s something we need to get to the bottom of

Matt got there first.

[emjay]

Communication confusion...

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