Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

Warning - strong aviation content!

[ricardian]

For those of a certain age

[PHXPhlyer]

Acme Rocket Company was the contractor.

PP

[ricardian]

Yet another one for the Trekkies

[Boac]

"Beam me up, 'orcadian' "

[k3k3]

Oh what tales we weave...

[PHXPhlyer]

Yet another one for the Trekkies

Combine the two systems and you get...



PP

[ricardian]

How to ascertain whether or not you are old

[ricardian]

Unusual photographs #94

[ricardian]

Pre-vegan times

[G-CPTN]

sheep pluck includes the heart, lungs, and fully attached trachea of an adult sheep.

[ricardian]

For those amongst us who follow Rugby and its derivatives (Seen on another forum)

Following complaints made to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the 'Haka' before their games, other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.
The IRB Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:
1. The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair that everyone still thinks New Zealand are the best team in the world.
2. The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing an Iron Bru bottle over their opponents' heads.
3. The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.
4. Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own "Las In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed by the match stewards.
5. Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts whilst they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.
6. The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament.
7. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.
8. The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female stewards and then run away.
9. The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch, mow it and then claim that it was all in line with European "grass quotas". They will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.
10. The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good salaries to the key opposition players and then run around the pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).
11. The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half (much to the delight of the WELSH) and burn the officials.
12. The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing and TV contracts in the UK.
13. Unfortunately the Committee were unable to accept the Welsh suggestion following representations from the RSPCA....

[FD2]

sheep pluck includes the heart, lungs, and fully attached trachea of an adult sheep.

All the yummy meaty makings of a good haggis!

[Boac]

Especially when doused with a wee dram or three!

[Hydromet]

sheep pluck includes the heart, lungs, and fully attached trachea of an adult sheep.

Sheep's heart stuffed with spicy vegetables is a delicacy known too few, but well worth trying.

[jimtherev]

Sheep's heart stuffed with spicy vegetables is a delicacy known too few, but well worth trying.

Me grandad was a retired butcher, and during WW2 still kept up good relationships with the guy who bought him out. Ox-heart was always available: to me, as a nipper, this was a standard Sunday meal. Never see it these days in the butchers.

However, was at a banquet in one of the better London hotels a few years ago; the tasty main course was described as rondels of beef. People kept asking what cut it was as the flavour was excellent. Didn't tell 'em: didn't want to ruin their evening...

[llondel]

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants...

Feefiphobia...

[ribrash]

sheep pluck includes the heart, lungs, and fully attached trachea of an adult sheep.

Sheep's heart stuffed with spicy vegetables is a delicacy known too few, but well worth trying.

+1

[ricardian]

Photo from recent Government advert
Plugging in or unplugging whilst the socket is switched ON is not recommended!

[llondel]

Photo from recent Government advert
Plugging in or unplugging whilst the socket is switched ON is not recommended!

But at least the plug is a safety type which makes it hard to electrocute yourself. Contrast that to the US where there is no switch on the socket and it's very easy to touch both live and neutral pins with fingers while inserting or removing the plug.