Friday Jokes

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Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9501 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Fri Feb 24, 2023 6:03 pm

A Canadian pint is 20 oz, should the drink, by some chance, ever get put in a glass
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9502 Post by Pontius Navigator » Fri Feb 24, 2023 7:25 pm

FD2 wrote:
Tue Feb 21, 2023 6:52 pm
Here you are PN. I'm sure you'll grow to love them. ;))) :YMPARTY:

https://www.fuzzfaced.net/ac-dc-the-jack-meaning.html

So we get V.D. Clap...
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9503 Post by Woody » Sat Feb 25, 2023 10:09 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9504 Post by Woody » Sat Feb 25, 2023 10:28 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9505 Post by Woody » Sat Feb 25, 2023 10:44 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9506 Post by ricardian » Sat Feb 25, 2023 6:50 pm

Tom: I'm addicted to buying old Beatles records.
Bill: Sounds like you need help.
Tom: No, I've already got that one.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9507 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Sat Feb 25, 2023 8:04 pm

Bill: That one keeps going round and round
Tom: No, I've got Revolver too.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9508 Post by ricardian » Mon Feb 27, 2023 1:35 pm

Magician: I can make anything disappear.
Tom: (holding cup) do it to my tea.
Magician: (waves hand) done!
om: (holding cup) It didn't work.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9509 Post by Rossian » Mon Feb 27, 2023 3:05 pm

Wot did the magician say then? I feel we should be told. He must have had a sharp riposte up his sleeve. Shirley?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9510 Post by OFSO » Mon Feb 27, 2023 4:41 pm

I sat on one of those once, very painful it was.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9511 Post by Ex-Ascot » Tue Feb 28, 2023 7:39 am

Another of my collection.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9512 Post by ricardian » Tue Feb 28, 2023 10:24 am

A poor Jamaican fisherman was shipwrecked on a desert island.
He had lost his boat, his livelihood, and his possessions.
He was trudging around the island in a dejected mood when he came across an old brass lamp washed up on the beach.
Remembering the tale of Aladdin (and the role of magic lamps) he rubbed it. POOF! A Genie appeared - a Jewish one.
"Vey!" he said. "Am I glad to be outta there. Three hundred years I bin in that thing, my life and soul ! What can I do for you, my boy ?"
The Jamaican asked if the Genie granted wishes.
"Wishes, Schmishes! Course I do. I'll grant you two wishes, used to be three but I gotta think about my margins," the genie said.
"Well," said the Jamaican after some consideration, "I'd like to be white and surrounded by women."
"No problem," said the Genie.
POOF! The Jamaican was transformed into a tampon.
Moral: Never do business with a Jewish Genie-there's always a string attached.
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9513 Post by ricardian » Tue Feb 28, 2023 11:02 am

Rishi Sunak considers sending fighter aircraft to Ukraine in return for a lorry-load of lettuce, cucumbers & tomatoes
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9514 Post by ricardian » Wed Mar 01, 2023 4:01 am

Engineers have made a car that can run on parsley. Now they are hoping to make buses that run on thyme
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9515 Post by OFSO » Wed Mar 01, 2023 5:34 am

A sage quote!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9516 Post by Woody » Wed Mar 01, 2023 9:35 am

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9517 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Wed Mar 01, 2023 2:14 pm

Salad Shortage Latest:

"It's just the tip of the iceberg"

says UK farmer

(real quote, actually, and he wasn't trying to be punny)

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9518 Post by Hydromet » Wed Mar 01, 2023 9:32 pm

Fox3WheresMyBanana wrote:
Wed Mar 01, 2023 2:14 pm
Salad Shortage Latest:

"It's just the tip of the iceberg"

says UK farmer

(real quote, actually, and he wasn't trying to be punny)
Let us all think about that for a moment.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9519 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Mar 02, 2023 11:35 am

That beet the previous post

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9520 Post by llondel » Thu Mar 02, 2023 7:26 pm

I don't know why men go to bars to try and find women. Go to Primark, the female to male ratio is like 25 to 1and they're already looking for crap they don't need.

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