Friday Jokes
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- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
The price of honesty: man killed on golf course!
A male foursome is waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she duffs it 10 feet. Then she goes over and misses it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says, apologetically, “I guess all those **** lessons that I took over the winter didn't help!”
One of the men immediately responds “Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was only 43.
A male foursome is waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she duffs it 10 feet. Then she goes over and misses it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says, apologetically, “I guess all those **** lessons that I took over the winter didn't help!”
One of the men immediately responds “Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"
He never even had a chance to duck. He was only 43.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
-
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
Re: Friday Jokes
That's dreadful, Ric!
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
One for JimTheRev
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
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Re: Friday Jokes
(It's a artsy-fartsy Greek restaurant. I don't think they quite get the nuances of the English language yet )
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- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 5947
- Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2015 10:08 pm
- Location: 59°09N 002°38W
- Gender:
- Age: 80
Re: Friday Jokes
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER
- Fox3WheresMyBanana
- Chief Pilot
- Posts: 12979
- Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 9:51 pm
- Location: Great White North
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- Age: 61
Re: Friday Jokes
Don't take any guff, just blow them off!
Re: Friday Jokes
Better to pass the fart and bear the sham, than smother it and bear the pain.
Re: Friday Jokes
If food typically takes 24 hours to pass through, what you eat on the flight is largely irrelevant to your fart level.
- Undried Plum
- Chief Pilot
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- Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:45 pm
- Location: 56°N 4°W
Re: Friday Jokes
Food served on Bangla takes a hell of a lot less than 24 hrs to pass through, I can tell you.
And the farts are liquid.
And the farts are liquid.
Re: Friday Jokes
Never flown on Bangladude but +1 in agreement. My bold in the quote.Undried Plum wrote: ↑Fri Sep 13, 2019 7:34 amFood served in Bangla takes a hell of a lot less than 24 hrs to pass through, I can tell you.
And the farts are liquid.
4 1/2 hours in my case from consumption to bloody nightmare on the hotel Dalton. Barely made it.
Re: Friday Jokes
I just hope that Rangwe MP is only looking to ban farting in the cabin, or she will not find any pilots on her next attempt to travel by air.
Re: Friday Jokes
I know what the Rangwe MP means. I once flew overnight from Lagos to Amsterdam sitting next to a very fat man who farted all the way.
Didn't care much really - I was just so pleased to be getting out of Nigeria.
Didn't care much really - I was just so pleased to be getting out of Nigeria.
Re: Friday Jokes
Maybe it’s mainly an African problem.
Oops, shouldn’t have said that as it’s obviously racist
Oops, shouldn’t have said that as it’s obviously racist
Re: Friday Jokes
The risk of sitting next to some fat horrible farting slob (of either sex) was always in the back of my mind if there was non no choice but to sit in Cattle to go home from the Gulf and vv. The risk was considerably increased if the high proportion of pax were Arabs. So Sise it's not just the African niggas but the sand variety too.
This I could find out from Traffic the day before when they started compiling the manifest. Fortunately it was only on a few occasions where I chickened out and took the next flight, when I knew either the capt or Purser of the original flight were Company arseholes and wouldn't upgrade me to a spare seat in Biz or First.
Lagos is a shithole. Literally.
This I could find out from Traffic the day before when they started compiling the manifest. Fortunately it was only on a few occasions where I chickened out and took the next flight, when I knew either the capt or Purser of the original flight were Company arseholes and wouldn't upgrade me to a spare seat in Biz or First.
Lagos is a shithole. Literally.
Re: Friday Jokes
What pisses me off far more than farting (as I’m probably a net contributor ) is bloody Chinese snorting and sniffing loudly every two seconds.
Re: Friday Jokes
Yeh I agree Sise. Dunno how many times I've had slag-ridden slime-snorting F/Os esp in Nam. I had to get the girls to bring up a box tissues and bark "blow ya bloody nose FFS!" at him.