Friday Jokes

[CharlieOneSix]

great driver.jpg (37.12 KiB) Viewed 511 times

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

One for Slasher

[Boac]

I hope that isn't Slasher.............

[FD2]

The poor man looks like he just won the booby prize!

I suspect the only thing he will be able raise after this will be another glass, judging by his expression, but for the moment they O O have the attention of everyone in the room..

[ricardian]

No, that wasn't Slasher but this might be!

[Stoneboat]

One for Slasher

Dang! Now I've got this sudden urge to play motorboat.

[ricardian]

Oops!

[Woody]

Perhaps that should be in the where in the world thread

[Slasher]

One for Slasher

Yes. That would've been my dream date at his age. Trouble is girls were "slim pickings" where I lived.

[Capetonian]

My girlfriend asked me what colour were her eyes.
I replied, "36D"

[ricardian]

A Glaswegian goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," replies the Glaswegian.

[ricardian]

More Scotland-related jokes:
10 cows in a field. Which one is on holiday?
The wan wae the wee calf.
---
Man walks into a baker and says: "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?"
The baker says: "Naw, ye were right the first time."
---
A woman is in hospital in Dundee giving birth.
"Well done lassie, it's a boy! Whit are you going to call him?" the midwife asks.
The woman replies "Nathan."
The midwife says "Aw come on, you've got to call him something."
---
English lady walks into a butcher's shop in Glasgow and asks the butcher who is stood with his back to the electric fire "Is that your Ayrshire bacon?"
Butcher replies "Naw, it's just my haunds I'm warmin'."

[CharlieOneSix]

Continuing the Scottish theme:

After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.

[llondel]

plaza.jpg (41.88 KiB) Viewed 329 times

[Capetonian]

Capture.JPG (73.84 KiB) Viewed 329 times

[Stoneboat]

A Glaswegian goes to the dentist and settles down in the chair.
"Comfy?" asks the dentist.
"Govan," replies the Glaswegian.

A hillbilly is in the dentist's chair getting a filling. The dentist took the air hose and blew some air into the cavity and asked "You feel that air?"
"That air whut?" the patient replied.

[Slasher]

[ricardian]

736e5eb9-e4b1-40db-81d9-a9b258a87324.jpg

[Slasher]

Already printed out, cut out, filled out, chequed, enveloped, stamped and posted!

Good birthday prezzy for the wife.