Friday Jokes

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

[Capetonian]

[Slasher]

If his name was Mohammed Akbar they would've sucked his dong.

[Pontius Navigator]

If his name was Mohammed Akbar they would've sucked his dong.

?

[ricardian]

[ricardian]

[Ex-Ascot]

If his name was Mohammed Akbar they would've sucked his dong.

?

x2

Capt, Is it just that we are thick or just not from down under?

[Wodrick]

must be an upside down thing as we all cannae be thick.

[Boac]

He's been watching too much porn again?

[ricardian]

[Slasher]

Capt, Is it just that we are thick or just not from down under?

No sah. I was hinting at the forced indoctrination of the police force to love islam practicitioners.

[OFSO]

Post #3052, there's a short story by Stephen King based on just that premise. I think its called "Umneys last Case". About a Raymond Chandler-type detective who discovers he's just an authors character.

[Slasher]

Another typical arvo in Lagos yesterday.

[ricardian]

The 5th parrot.

Three girls, Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.
They rediscover each other via Facebook and arrange to meet for lunch.
Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel number.
After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.
Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University she met and married Timothy,
with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of Sydney's leading law firms.
They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment on The North Shore and Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school.
They have a second home in Bali.
Sue relates that she graduated from Monash University, studied to become a doctor and became a surgeon.
Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial investment banker in Melbourne.
They live in the Toorak area and have a second home in Italy.
Mary explains that after she left school at 17, she ran off with her boyfriend, Mark.
They run a tropical bird park on the Sunshine Coast and grow their own vegetables.
Mark can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later,
Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Target they live in a small apartment and
have a camper trailer parked on the front drive. Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty,
explains that she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old people's home.
They live in Hoppers Crossing and take camping holidays on the Murray.
Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

[Slasher]

That's one of your better ones Ric!

[Hydromet]

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

I can do that trick too, but the last one has to fold his wings.

[Ex-Ascot]

Understand now Capt. Yes indeed Ricardian a good one.

[ricardian]

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place,in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responded,
"No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"