Friday Jokes

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Fox3WheresMyBanana
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9561 Post by Fox3WheresMyBanana » Sun Mar 12, 2023 1:41 am

H: I say, Watson, where've you been this past month?
W: Over in the United States, investigating a murder that has the local Police stumped. Dashed if I'm not a little unsure myself
H: Well, do tell all, and I'll see if I can be of some assistance.
W: It was a wild night when the crime occurred. Storm, lightning, rain, somewhat...
H: Elementary, my dear Watson.
W: Quite. Anyway, the body was found in the grounds of a primary school, or whatever they call them over there
H: Elementary, my dear Watson.
W. Indeed. The victim was found missing his trousers, and there appeared to be something rammed up his, well,..
H: Alimentary, my dear Watson.
W. Yes, just so. What do you make of it, Holmes?
H. A classic Fruiticide, I fear.
W. How do you reckon that, Holmes?
H. A Lemon Entry, my dear Watson.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9562 Post by Ex-Ascot » Mon Mar 13, 2023 8:56 am

Another one from my collection from over here.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9563 Post by Woody » Tue Mar 14, 2023 9:45 am

Image
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Re: Friday Jokes

#9564 Post by Karearea » Tue Mar 14, 2023 6:59 pm

Stages of working from home:

- i work from home how cool!!!

- it would be nice to have someone to talk to

- i hope Billy the pigeon comes to visit my window today
And with the morn, those angel faces smile...

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9565 Post by 4mastacker » Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:25 am

When Gary Glitter was released from prison he was looking very smart and dapper. When asked what grooming products he used, he said "Haribo and Cadbury's chocolate buttons".
It's always my fault - SWMBO

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9566 Post by Ex-Ascot » Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:46 am

Next.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9567 Post by k3k3 » Thu Mar 16, 2023 1:39 pm


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Re: Friday Jokes

#9568 Post by Pontius Navigator » Thu Mar 16, 2023 4:53 pm

4mastacker wrote:
Thu Mar 16, 2023 10:25 am
When Gary Glitter was released from prison he was looking very smart and dapper. When asked what grooming products he used, he said "Haribo and Cadbury's chocolate buttons".
Now that is really subtle.

What's the joke?

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9569 Post by OFSO » Thu Mar 16, 2023 6:17 pm

It's like the young priest, double confessional with an older priest, who has just heard a school girl's confession that she'd given her boyfriend oral sex, turns round and says "What do you give for a blow-job, Father?" and the older priest turns round and says "Oh, I usually think five pounds and a Mars Bar is quite sufficient. "

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9570 Post by Hydromet » Fri Mar 17, 2023 1:26 am

335142482_136785309070675_6239425262179580432_n.jpg

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9571 Post by Ex-Ascot » Fri Mar 17, 2023 9:02 am

My next stock cartoon.
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'Yes, Madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly.' Sir Winston Churchill.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9572 Post by EA01 » Fri Mar 17, 2023 10:00 am

Joke?...or sad sign of the times??


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Re: Friday Jokes

#9573 Post by Hydromet » Fri Mar 17, 2023 10:10 am

EA01, please don't get me started. We have our own little crew here.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9574 Post by EA01 » Fri Mar 17, 2023 10:22 am

Huh?...just saying I don't agree with re writing history so as not to offend anyone!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9575 Post by Woody » Sat Mar 18, 2023 7:28 pm

Image
When all else fails, read the instructions.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9576 Post by Hydromet » Sat Mar 18, 2023 10:48 pm

EA01 wrote:
Fri Mar 17, 2023 10:22 am
Huh?...just saying I don't agree with re writing history so as not to offend anyone!
I was agreeing with you.

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9577 Post by llondel » Sun Mar 19, 2023 12:46 am

Woody wrote:
Sat Mar 18, 2023 7:28 pm
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That sucks (hopefully).

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9578 Post by PHXPhlyer » Sun Mar 19, 2023 2:03 am

llondel wrote:
Sun Mar 19, 2023 12:46 am
Woody wrote:
Sat Mar 18, 2023 7:28 pm
Image
That sucks (hopefully).
He's in space.
He has more vacuum than he can use. :ymdevil:

PP

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9579 Post by EA01 » Sun Mar 19, 2023 8:14 am

I was agreeing with you.
Oh OK, thought you would!

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Re: Friday Jokes

#9580 Post by ricardian » Mon Mar 20, 2023 5:52 pm

Young RAF Education Officer to older SAC:
When I ask for an essary on "An airman's philosophy" I expect rather more than "The ugly ones are grateful!.
Ricardian, Stronsay, Orkney UK
www.stronsaylimpet.co.uk
visitstronsay.com
https://www.wunderground.com/forecast/EGER

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